Disney... We need to talk.
Look, I get it, movies get scrapped for a variety of reasons, it sucks but I can overlook the canning of Nimona if something super spectacular comes along to take its place. In Nimona's place, you gave us Raya and the Last Dragon, a movie that is just fine, and nothing else. You gave us Cruella, which did not need to exist. You gave us Encanto, which almost makes up for Nimona, but then you bring a Blue Sky property back to life for... why? Why are you bringing back Ice Age? Nobody is clamoring for the return of this franchise, because the franchise started going downhill with the second movie.
On principle I don't want to watch this, because let's look at the facts. Fact number one, Disney acquired Blue Sky during the Fox acquisition. Fact two, Disney closed down Blue Sky in 2021. Fact three; Blue Sky was working on an adaptation of the graphic novel "Nimona", which a lot of people were anticipating. Fact four; Disney decided to scrap the Nimona project, along with a bunch of other promising projects that Blue Sky was working on. Fact Five; The next thing we see from a Blue Sky property is a sequel to an Ice Age movie that goes directly to Disney+ in January. The facts show that Disney cut a movie that a lot of people were anticipating and gave us a movie for a franchise a lot of people wanted to stay dead. If I wasn't giving the benefit of the doubt, I would assume that Disney only greenlit this movie as a show, to say "See, we do care about this studio and their franchises", despite giving us a garbage movie and saying "well clearly you guys don't care about the franchises, I mean look at the viewer results".
I'm giving Disney the benefit of the doubt here, despite the fact that I highly doubt they've actually earned it. Companies operate on how much money a product could make, but I have doubts that Ice Age would make more money than a movie that a lot of people were vocally excited about. I can only assume Disney either did not know about the hype surrounding Nimona, or they were aware of the hype but were afraid of pissing off some bigoted market, and let's just say, Disney is no stranger to editing movies for said bigoted countries.
Oh and let's talk about other movies that Disney is planning on releasing, like that Snow White remake that Peter Dinklage has called out for dwarfism, and also could be a movie with the Snow White tag on it. Disney's also releasing another Rio movie, that'll be fun to talk about. Oh yeah, and Turning Red is gonna be Pixar's next movie to go directly to streaming. Which leaves me wondering if Pixar is gonna be the next Blue Sky and we're gonna get a Toy Story 5 out of it, but let's not dwell on that topic anymore. Disney has been making a lot of bad decisions, and the new Ice Age and Rio movies might just be the worst of them. Well, of their recent decisions, I mean their messing up of Copyright Law and the hiring of Eisner and Katzenburg might have been worse than this one, but that is talking with the added benefit of hindsight.
Why was all of that important? Because, screw Disney!
As a huge Disney fan, I can say without any hesitation, screw Disney, and I'm keeping it there because I do want to keep my swearing to a minimum with this blog. Disney represents the very worst of the entertainment industry, at least the entertainment industry that doesn't include video games, but we'll see which company they end up acquiring. Disney is devoid of creativity, almost discouraging creativity, does not listen to their audiences, and aren't even very good at pandering or virtue signaling. Disney makes great products, on occasion. I wasn't kidding when I said Encanto was Disney's best film in years, and it sadly might be Disney's best film for another few years. Disney has and can give us a lot of the best stuff, while representing the worst of it all. That is why I can say, screw Disney.
And screw this movie too, it's dull and boring and unfunny. No disrespect to the people who worked on it, but it really does feel like a TV show that was retooled into a movie, something Disney has a shocking amount of knowledge about. Did Michael Eisner really leave Disney? Because this seems like something he would suggest. It has all the failings of a movie that was meant to be a TV series, because this movie was meant to be a TV series. Quite frankly, I'd say don't watch this movie on principle, but it's not even worth breaking those principles for, and quite frankly, I think I should be paid to watch movies like this. Screw Disney, don't watch this movie.
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