Top 20 Worst Cartoon Theme Songs

So... I've been working on a... certain project. One that involves a lot of heavy and uncomfortable subject matter, and needs a lot of careful wording. It also is a lot of condensing really large stories into a couple of paragraphs, and one story is still kinda sorta ongoing. The bulk of that project is written, and as you can imagine it has taken a lot out of me... So let's do something fun.

Everybody loves theme songs, catchy ones like DuckTales or SpongeBob, Iconic ones like The Flintstones or The Simpsons, epic ones like Batman: The Animated Series or King Arthur and the Knights of Justice, Popular shows like Rugrats and ThunderCats, obscure shows like Cybersix or C.O.W.Boys of Moo Mesa, great shows like Gravity Falls and Amphibia, terrible shows like Sonic Underground. The theme song really is like an advertisement to your show, it has to sell the show to the viewer before they even see the first episode, many theme songs do a great job of selling the show to the viewer while being a pleasant musical experience. We will not be talking about any of those theme songs today.

Some theme songs do not succeed in selling a show, some theme songs are bland, annoying, cringe-inducing, badly-written, badly-sung, incoherent, just all around poorly made. So of course the question now becomes, which ones are the worst? A question that lots and lots of others have discussed, and now I am going to throw my opinion in the ring. These are the worst, the most annoying, the unbearable cartoon theme songs, in English speaking languages that is.

#20. Sherlock Holmes in the 22nd Century

I like this show, I genuinely do, but I can absolutely see why it has fallen into obscurity. The show is very much nothing special and does have a bit of wasted potential as I have said before. I can also imagine viewers were probably turned off from the theme song. A trend you will notice among theme songs is that a lot of them like to repeat their names over and over again, granted I don't think you really need much explanation for the concept of a show titled "Sherlock Holmes in the 22nd Century", but that does not change the fact that the theme song is still the show's name repeated ad nauseam  over a weird techno house club beat. There are a lot of theme songs that would have benefited from just being instrumental, but don't let that dissuade you from checking out the show, just be prepared to grab that remote when the "Skip Intro" button appears.

 

#19. Potato Head Kids

 

They gave a cartoon to everything in the 80s, didn't they? I really don't want to be too hard on this one, frankly I didn't even want to put it on the list. Nothing about these theme song is inherently terrible, the lyrics are bland and tell us nothing, and the music is kind of standard for the time, those don't help matters but they really are not "top 20" worthy. However, leniency only stretches so far, and having the main cast sing the song is what warrants the placement on this list. Whoever thought these voices were good enough to sing a theme song, they are wrong and if nobody had a better idea for a theme song than that is very sad.

 

#18. Hong Kong Phooey

You might wonder, how far back do "bad" theme songs go. Surely someone has been complaining about how bad music and lyrics were for television theme songs as far back as the 1960s, but for the purposes of this list, we're only going as far back as the 1970s, 1974 to be exact. It starts with a spoken dialogue bit that is meant to build interest but is just kind of slow, and when it does get to the theme song, it's just kind of bland until around the fifty second mark when they just make a bunch of noises that vaguely sound like kung fu noises... I guess? I dunno, something about this show just rubs me the wrong way.

 

#17. Shirt Tales

I think I've found the most boring theme song in the world, seriously. There are three main parts to this theme song, the introduction, the role-call and the title drop, they do this twice and the lyrics are about as generic as you possibly can get. It's all "Who do you call when you're in trouble" stuff, which only makes me want to listen to "Ghostbusters" which at least has that iconic keyboard riff. The role call isn't really good either, it's like they're trying to keep in beat but just can't quite keep up. Also, poor Bogey is always the last one to be named, justice for Bogey.

 

#16. Super Duper Sumos

Hey, another theme song that repeats it's name over and over again. Okay, that is a bit unfair, there are other lyrics just shouted at you. Otherwise it's just "Super Duper Sumos" and how they got guts and big butts... which is a pun and a butt joke. Having "Guts" means that they are brave, courageous, risk-taking, but they're also fat, so they have a massive gut. I am not worried about explaining the joke here, it wasn't funny to begin with.

 

#15. Mighty Ducks: The Animated Series

Believe it or not, "Ducks Rock" is not the reason this song is on the list. What puts this theme song on the list is that it is some of the worst sounding "Trying to be hip" music I've ever heard. The show premiered in late 1996, so what kind of music should we make our theme song to interest the youths of the time? I know, out of date Glam Rock, and let's get the guy who sang "We Built This City" to sing it. I can think of worse combinations, I guess. In 1996, Alt Rock was the popular form of rock music, Glam Rock was so passe, and stuff like this is the reason why. Cheap Mötley Crüe sound-alikes aren't going to bring the genre back, especially since they weren't even doing their brand of Glam Rock by this time either, Generation Swine was released in 1997. Also, the theme song's title... It actually is "Ducks Rock"... give me Disco Duck anyway of the week.

 

14. Pickle & Peanut

It's just a list of things. The bulk of this theme song is literally just a monotone voice listing off items over a (trap?) beat before "singing" the title of the show. Is it really that easy to write a theme song? let me try.

Pens, cap guns, grapes, erasers, lip balm, duct tape, hey!
Rope, candles, weights, newsprint, aloe, spice mix, yum!

There, that's the theme song to my brand new show, Joe and the Henway, coming to streaming in 8995 AD. Enjoy.

 

13. Pokémon: DP Battle Dimension

Okay, hot take, but Diamond and Pearl is not the worst theme song Pokémon ever had. It is a cringe-inducing attempt at rap, but you know what's worse? The Battle Dimension theme song. Believe it or not, I've always found this theme song worse than Diamond and Pearl's rap, but I couldn't quite figure out why. I assumed it's because of the pillowy-soft music, but on closer inspection I think I know the real reason; this song doesn't feel like a Pokémon theme song. The lyrics are all "brave and strong" and "We can be heroes and change the world" and I'm thinking, "What does this have to do with Pokémon?" When did Pokémon become a generic magical girl anime?

 

12. Breadwinners and Angela Anaconda

I'm putting these two theme songs together because they both have one major problem, and they're both really short.

Breadwinners is the most recent show, so I'll start with that. The instrumentation of this show is obnoxious, it's like dubstep from people who don't know what dubstep sounds like. Not that the lyrics are much better, but it's basically lazy puns (get it, Quazy! Because they're ducks!) and juvenile humour. Really though, it's blessedly short, and that would grant it some leniency, but there was another theme song that was very similar.

Angela Anaconda's big problem is the singing, this girl can't sing. I wonder if this was intentional, like the director said to the voice actress, "alright, we want you to imagine the worst singing voice for your character". This song also has similar issues with lyrics, it's just kind of a nothing sandwich, it's "This is me, this is my show" and nothing else of substance. Between the two of them, I think Angela Anaconda's is worse, but I find them similar enough to warrant making this entry a tie, and it won't be our only one.

 

11. Coconut Fred's Fruit Salad Island

I think I actually wanted to leave this song off the list, not because I have any fondness for it, but because... it's biggest issue is that it's just kind of confused. What does this theme song want to be? A tropical thing? Something with sci-fi tones? A theme song that shouts it's name over and over again? An instrumental? Something with beat-boxing? This theme really is just the definition of "Throw everything at the wall and see what sticks". Also, never end a theme song to any show with the main character saying "Yay Me!".

 

10. Kung Fu Dino Posse

Another theme song that kind of has no clue what it wants to be, so it does all three weird genres. Generic superhero introduction, cringe rap theme and... epic Broadway choir? The rap part of the theme song is so horribly sung, like the singer is intentionally putting on as nasally a voice as they can, and it has some of the worst jokes you've ever heard, like hilariously mispronouncing the word "pterodactyl". Really, the only reason this show is not higher on the list is because... really who cares? Nobody cares about a show called Kung Fu Dino Posse... note to self, make a blog post about Kung Fu Dino Posse.

 

9. Rugrats 2021 and The Magic School Bus Rides Again

Yep, another shared entry, reboots with remade versions of the original theme songs that are infinitely worse.

Rugrats 2021 decided that it would be a good idea to add a buzzing synth to the start of the theme song, seriously, why did they pick the fuzziest, most unlistenable synth sound they could have picked for this theme song? At the very least, the song becomes tolerable after that, not necessarily good, but tolerable.

The same cannot be said for The Magic School Bus Rides Again, which decided that Little Richard needed to be replaced by Lin-Manuel Miranda. Look, I don't hate Lin-Manuel, he's done stuff I liked and has been in things I really liked, but he just missed the mark for this theme song. A lot of the punch and tight performance from Richard is replaced with trailing off on certain lines, so a line like "Raft a River of Lava" has the final syllable elongated for no reason. Honestly, I could have mistaken this for a Will.i.am cover at points.

Sometimes remaking the theme song for a show can lead to good results, there are lots of people who will argue the 2017 DuckTales theme song is better than the 1987 DuckTales theme song. Really though, that may be the exception rather than the example, because if these two theme songs prove anything, it's that the originals are often untouchable.

8. Hammerman

Hello easy target. Yeah, you all knew this was going to make the list, and you all know the reasons why it was going to make the list. If by some blessed miracle you don't know, seriously thank every god you do and do not believe in if you have not heard this theme song. It's almost so bad it's good, but the crushing length is what brings it down to just being "bad", and you wouldn't think that if you looked it up online, one minute and nineteen seconds, that's a bit on the lengthy side but it's still pretty standard for a cartoon theme song. It's not that the song itself is long, it's that it details every single part of the origin story, straight up to even explaining "Gramps opened up the bag and took out the magical shoes". It drones on giving you every detail of an origin that would have, and should have been shown in the first episode. But again, you knew all that.

 

7. Mew Mew Power and One Piece

 

This is the last shared entry here, and you probably knew these were coming too. Hello 4Kids, nice to see you here. 4Kids is notorious for terrible dub jobs that made anime "more appropriate for children" by which they mean they made everything Americanized and ruined a lot of anime. It didn't help that a lot of their dubs came with awful theme songs.

Mew Mew Power is probably the better of the two here, in that I can see people liking it, but that doesn't mean I get it. This is one of the most generic sounding theme songs in existence, literally any anime could have the lyrics "Team up 'cause it's not too late/We can save the day if we collaborate", I think those were from the scrapped lyrics bin for Sailor Moon... no that's too harsh, Sailor Moon's writers didn't even consider writing those lines. Funny enough, for the theme song to a show called "Mew Mew Power" they really don't have any cat related imagery in the lyrics, they mention birds though! Also, "It's hard to save the world when you're falling in love"? This is a Magical Girl Anime!

Of course, you're not here because of Mew Mew Power, you're here for the infamous, the notorious, the cringe inducing, One Piece rap. I mean, I guess the only thing I have to ask is... why? Why did they decide that an adventure anime about a rubber pirate needed a rap theme song? Really, this is just adding insult to injury, it's like "Ha ha, we're gonna censor the anime to the point that it has no bite to it, remove several episodes and change the story to this anime, and we're also going to give it the worst theme song we possibly could give it."

This is why 4Kids went defunct in... 2017? Really?

6. RoboCop: Alpha Commando

I think the real tragedy of this theme song is that it opens really good. It's got that vibe to it that would totally fit a cyberpunk setting, really if this track was an instrumental, it probably would have been a theme song that people remember fondly. Unfortunately, they had to include lyrics. This is another theme song that has to shout the name of the show for the duration of the theme song... except it doesn't even do that, it just shouts "RoboCop" a bunch of times and hopes that you're find it cool. RoboCop is one of my favourite movies, the satire is still wildly relevant and the action scenes are perfectly bloody, and I guarantee you, adding this theme song to any action scene in the movie, makes it ten times funnier. It's not a good thing, but if you want a good laugh...

 

5. High Guardian Spice

Ladies, gentlemen and everyone outside the binary, I present to you, the literal most generic theme song you will ever hear. Fun fact, I initially put this theme song on my shortlist as a joke. Like I knew it wasn't going to be good, but like I thought it would be Honourable Mentions material at worst. I mean, how bad can it possibly be? Oh... oh dear god... it was bad. I had such a negative reaction hearing this theme song, it says nothing about the show, it says nothing about the characters, it has no identity outside of being tied to... High Guardian Spice... I should have guessed that one of the most generic animated shows of all time would get one of the most, actually no, the most generic theme song of all time. This theme song is so generic it actually makes me mad, like Pickle & Peanut was befuddling, Mew Mew Power was boring, this is actually aggravating. Remind me to watch this entire thing for another blog post in the future.

 

4. The Nutshack

It's the nutshack... it's the nutshack... it's the nutshack... it's the nutshack...

That is the first half of this theme song, just repeating those three words over and over again, until we get another bad rap theme song that is either so poorly sung, so poorly mixed, or both, that it is legit impossible to understand what is being said without using a lyrics sheet to follow along. This is another theme song that has achieved infamous status and memedom, this theme song is so bad, it actually falls into "So bad it's good" territory, because I don't think I have ever heard a theme song this incompetent before. Clearly this is the second worst example of a theme song that sings the title of the show on repeat until it ends... what is the worst?

 

3. Dragon Ball Z

Apparently, this is the Canadian version of the intro, because why did Canada need it's own intro to Dragon Ball Z? Did America just not want to share it's dub intro? Whatever the case, this is another theme song that so bad it's good, because legit, this is hilarious. It's the plainest sounding guys singing "Dragon Dragon Ball" followed by what I can only describe as an "epic toy commercial voice" sings "Dragon Ball Z" for the duration of the theme song, save for one bit in the middle where they sing "Rock the Dragon/Dragon Ball Z", I am genuinely surprised this hasn't fallen into Memedom like The Nutshack theme has. If you're wondering why this is higher on the list than The Nutshack, it's because The Nutshack theme song has actual lyrics. Cybersix this really is not.

2. The Brothers Flub

Finally, the last obvious entry on this list. Come on, as soon as you hear the words "Worst Theme Songs" the first three words you immediately think of are "The" and "Brothers" and "Flub" specifically in that order. This theme technically doesn't count as an instrumental theme, but that's only because the lyrics to this song are literally just "Flub flub flub flub flub!" sang over the most annoying "la-la-la" you will ever hear. I think the only reason this theme song has instrumentation is because some producer had enough common sense to realize that the A Capella la-la flubbing would probably make people go deaf by the desire to cut their ears off with rusty hedge trimmers. it may also explain why they try to drown out the theme song with constant obnoxious noises. I refuse to believe that nobody behind this theme song thought it was a bad idea, someone had to realize that this was awful, but either didn't care or didn't want to throw away all the hard work they put into making this. The only real question is, why the heck is this not number one?

 

1. The Adventures of Kid Danger

I think this is it, the worst cartoon theme song in the world, it is poorly sung, lazily written, has obnoxious dialogue in the middle for no reason... yep, calling it now, this is the worst. it ticks off all the boxes for a bad theme song. Bad lyrics? "This is the song for the Adventures of Kid Danger", I think that counts as a yes. Annoying? Absolutely. Cringe-inducing... You know what, yes, it is cringe inducing. It makes me cringe that anyone thought that this was okay. Like, on some level, Brothers Flub is at least memorable, you're never going to forget it no matter how many spork lobotomies you receive. You might think that would make it worse, but at the very least the "Flub" singing was listenable. This is unlistenable in every aspect. One may argue that it isn't the most bad, but I'd counter by arguing that it is the least good, I can literally make a defence for every other theme song on this list before this one, yes even One Piece, even Coconut Fred, even The Brothers Flub. This is the worst cartoon theme song, and it wasn't even close.

 

Honourable Mentions:

Mega Babies - I mean... barring the bodily noises I'd dare say this one almost sounds pleasant. It's like a tolerable version of The Brothers Flub.

The Wonderful Wizard of Oz - I was so tempted to throwing this one on the list, it's just another pillowy soft cloud of nothing, but I guess it kinda sorta fits with the show.

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power - After High Guardian Spice I realize that I was way too harsh with my initial disdain for this theme song... that doesn't make it good though.

Pac-Man - It's an arcade having a seizure before someone growls "Pac-Man" twice. It's not on the list because I only barely consider it a theme song.

Shaggy and Scooby-Doo, Get a Clue! - Heh heh heh... what a bunch of nonsense. I don't think this is the worst, but uh... yeah it is worthy of disdain.

Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure - I left this one off the list solely because it absolutely is the kind of music that Bill and Ted would be all over. It's like if Jay and Silent Bob had a cartoon and the theme song was just stoned mumbling over a Morris Day esque beat, how mad can you really be at that?

Fanboy and Chum Chum - This one was left off the list because it very clearly intended on being annoying... it just failed at being annoying properly.

The Wacky World of Tex Avery - Gross and Annoying... what a winning combo...

My Gym Partner's a Monkey - You know, this show would be a horrible title if it wasn't absolutely literal.

Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island (1998) - A Perfect Halloween Feature

Scooby-Doo Movies are pretty much a dime a dozen, wow that line feels familiar. Back all the way in December of 2018, I had the itching to watch a couple movies that I was nostalgic about, that is what pretty much started this blog. The second movie I ever reviewed here was Scooby-Doo and the Ghoul School, a charming, if a little sloppy Television Film. However, it wasn't until the late 1990s and early 2000s that Scooby-Doo movies would become dominating, all starting with Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island in 1998, I'm actually not that much older than this movie. I think it's about time that I give a Scooby-Doo movie a better written review, and it should be perfect for Halloween.

The movie actually takes place in a bit of a time jump, if the Mystery Gang is high-school age in the original show, here they're all adults. Daphne, being fed up with how every mystery they solve ended up being a guy in a mask, takes on a different job as a TV Reporter, with Fred being her cameraman. While Daphne desires to find a real ghost, Fred gets the old gang back together as they explore the hauntings of New Orleans. After a montage of duds, they get a tip from a woman named Lena that a local island holds a real haunted house. I like that the plot is not too out of the ordinary for a Scooby-Doo episode, there is still a mystery and still a bunch of ghouls, only this time, they aren't guys in masks this time... well by some technicality the bad guys are people in a mask, but spoilers. The movie really is asking, "What would happen if the Mystery Gang was up against real monsters?" and I think they nailed it.

None of the characters feel out of character here, Velma is still the inquisitive one, Fred has a thing where he always tries to find logical explanations to everything, which is fitting since he's seen all of this before, so, being one of the more logical of the crew, he would try to find logic in everything. Shaggy and Scooby are still Shaggy and Scooby, and Daphne had a bit of an upgrade, going back to the original 1969 series (Yes, Scooby-Doo is that old) I really do struggle to think of what Daphne offers to the group, but in this movie she is very much taking charge, you could say that she's slipped into the leader role of the gang, it's actually kind of refreshing, and it makes sense given the trajectory of the character arcs. Daphne, going into TV hosting, would be taking more a lead role in this case. On top of that, we have some new characters, and I like that they throw red herrings our way with them, though I can't spill too much here, again spoilers.

One thing I also want to comment on is the voice cast, because this is probably as good of a voice cast for the Mystery Gang as possible, Frank Welker being the only person to reprise his role from the original show, and most of the other cast being replaced for one reason or another. Billy West steps in as Shaggy, B. J. Ward steps in as Velma, and Mary Kay Bergman might be my favourite Daphne, I'll have to do a lot of comparisons, but she is currently at the top for me. Don Messick, the original voice of Scooby-Doo, passed away in 1997, so he was the only original actor they couldn't bring back with Casey Kasem refusing to reprise the role unless they made some changes to Shaggy's character (Honestly, it sounds like he was being a bit of a diva), Heather North being replaced after only a day of recording, and Nicole Jaffe being in retirement at this period of time. Anyway, Scott Innes steps in as Scooby-Doo in this movie, and he's pretty good, I grew up with Frank Welker being Scooby, but Scott does a good job. Other voice actors like Adrienne Barbeau, Tara Strong, Cam Clarke and Jim Cummings all do great jobs, and a Mark Hamill cameo is always admired.

What is also worth admiring is the animation, done by Japanese Studio Mook Animation. I have said before that going Direct-to-Video or DVD is usually a better option for movies based on cartoons, because it allows them to keep the style they have without having to give it that "Cinematic Shine", I think this movie is a good balance of the two. It definitely looks better than any other Scooby-Doo product prior, and that is a bit of a curse as much as a blessing. The animation looks great, the zombies look wonderfully decayed, but, and I am fully aware this may just be because I've been reading Uzumaki lately, there were some scenes that did squick me out a little. I wouldn't say this movie is entirely on par with the work of Junji Ito, but there is some light body-horror in here. There were multiple times throughout this movie I just had to squirm and go "Ick!", but in this case I am willing to say that it is a good thing.

And because I know some people will be shocked if I don't mention it, the music in this movie is pretty great. Everyone goes crazy for the song "It's Terror Time Again" by Skycycle, and yeah, it is a pretty great song, though I also quite like "The Ghost Is Here", I think that one should also be put on some Halloween Playlists.

Honestly, I can list Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island as another movie that I am absolutely shocked was as good as it was, I always heard it was good, but I just figured it was good " by Scooby-Doo standards" which by this point has gotten pretty abysmal, but I'll be damned this one was actually good. A solid mystery, great animation, good amount of light-horrors, a rocking soundtrack, and the delightful characters that we've all grown to... well tolerate at this point, but loved back then. I really do think this is a great movie to put alongside stuff like Hocus Pocus or Coraline for a solid Halloween movie night. I'd say it's not as creepy as Coraline, but I'm not a good judge for that considering. Still, if you are tired of the Hocus Pocus and Corpse Bride and you haven't given this movie a chance, put it on, I think you'll be shockingly surprised.

Tom and Jerry: The Movie (1992) - A Weird Way to Make a Movie Featuring an Iconic Duo

 

When it comes to iconic cartoons of the golden age, according to Wikipedia being from 1928 until 1972, which seems way to broad because that covers the rise of theatrical animation, television animation, Computer animation and just barely reaches the release of Pong, but regardless, in the era of theatrical shorts, there were many iconic names, Walt Disney, Termite Terrace, Fleischer Studios, and probably one of the most iconic, Hanna-Barbera. Though Tom and Jerry was an MGM property, they will forever be linked to the two men who brought television animation into the mainstream. Their form of comedy was not as well written as Looney Tunes, but more cartoony than a standard Disney cartoon, making Tom and Jerry icons in animation for years to come. Like most icons in animation, it was only a matter of time before they got their own movie, but these two work best with slapstick comedy and little to no dialogue, how can a movie around these two work?

I'm actually not the biggest Tom and Jerry fan, I do enjoy the shorts but I don't really go out of my way to watch them. I think to my favourite shorts from the Looney Tunes and remember just how brilliant the writing was and how well the characters worked off each other, or Goofy cartoons and remember some of the satire on American culture, and all I can really think about Tom and Jerry is how good the slapstick is, and it is very good slapstick, but I do tend to gravitate towards the better written comedy. Then again, a movie may be what this series needed, cinematic writing could make the slapstick even funnier, so does the iconic duo work in a theatrical setting?

The plot follows Tom and Jerry as they wander the streets after being left behind as their owners move house, or is it just owner? Doesn't matter, this part of the movie is almost completely silent, has a decent background track and works alright, it's not a particularly funny segment, but once the movie gets going it should get better right? Well, then they come across a little orphaned girl who is running away from her awful Aunt, this is in a Tom and Jerry movie. Okay, giving the benefit of the doubt that this was all necessary for a Tom and Jerry movie to function, that a human character with a problem for Tom and Jerry to assist with was the only way this movie could work, a little girl trying to avoid her awful guardian and look for her lost father is probably the last thing I would think of for a Tom and Jerry movie plot, it flows alright, but the plot is just flawed from the ground level.

The biggest thing a lot of people will bring up is the fact that Tom and Jerry actually speak in this movie. This is a problem because Tom and Jerry were mostly silent characters, though Tom did have some dialogue on occasion, but when that happened it was predominately to emphasize a joke. It's not like a movie with silent characters can't be done, or even characters that speak incomprehensibly, but there is a lot of effort that needs to be put into a movie like that. On top of that I really don't think Richard Kind works as the voice of Tom, he doesn't get the screams right, and it just doesn't sound right coming out of Tom's mouth, which you think would be a problem with the fact that the characters are speaking, but Jerry's voice is a bit closer to how I would imagine Jerry would sound. This was the final film role for the late Dana Hill, and while her voice does make Jerry sound very young, it does work better than Richard King as Tom. To be fair, the rest of the voice acting is okay, my only other problem is with Tony Jay who sounds like he's doing a Vincent Price impression.

On the topic of vocal performances, this movie is also a musical. I'll be honest, the songs are not great, but they aren't the worst I've heard. A big part of that is because of the music by Henry Mancini, who also did the music for The Great Mouse Detective. While I don't really like the songs, they are memorable, and the music is well-done, it's just a shame that they aren't all sung the best, or the best written. Which is similar to what can be said about the animation, it's not the worst and does bring the classic characters into the modern age visually, it's just a shame that some of the shots look weird and the editing is not the best. On top of that, the actual slapstick in the movie just does not hit as well as it should, we never see any of the characters morph to show the impact of the hit, or the slapstick itself is just very light and basic.  This movie doesn't work as a slapstick comedy, and it doesn't really work as an exciting adventure.

On some level, I can kind of respect the choices they made for this movie. I can imagine that the idea of making a movie starring Tom and Jerry was difficult from the get-go and a lot of tough choices had to be made, but on the other hand not a lot of those choices really work. It fails as a slapstick because the actual slapstick is not very good, it fails as an exciting adventure because it's Tom and Jerry these two things just should not go together. On the one hand you have Peanut Butter, the other hand has jalapeños, I mean with the right amount of each you probably could get something good, but when you throw them together without much thought as to how it would all work, you're going to get something bad, and yeah, this movie is bad, but I would not go as far as to say it's awful, it kind of harkens back to my thoughts on the Felix the Cat movie, where if you're a big fan of Tom and Jerry, you're probably going to despise this movie a lot more, but even if you aren't it still is not a good movie, stick with the classic shorts.

Once Upon a Forest (1993) - The best of garbage, which is still not good.

1993 was a very... odd time for animated movies. What were the most well known releases this year? Well there were movies like Batman: mask of the Phantasm and The Nightmare Before Christmas, but there was also Dragon Ball Z: Bojack Unbound, The Thief and the Cobbler, We're Back! A Dinosaur's Story, I think it says something that most of the releases this year that people might be fond of were Japanese films like Sailor Moon R and Yu Yu Hakusho: The Movie. I mean, does anybody remember David Copperfield or Once Upon a Forest?

This is another one of those environmental awareness movies, like the previously reviewed FernGully: The Last Rainforest. Between the two of them, I think this movie is better, if only because I didn't feel completely preached at, but this movie still wasn't "good".

During an excursion with their teacher, four young forest animals find their forest home was destroyed by a toxic gas. After one of them gets deathly sick, the others have to find another meadow to gather some herbs, and they have to find them and return within a set time before their friend expires. Along the way, they meet incredible obstacles, strange situations and a gospel choir that makes me feel more uncomfortable than I did watching Dumbo... I'm going to chalk it up to Dumbo not having Timothy Mouse talk at the crows in their slang.

It's a basic adventure movie really. The characters move from one location to the next and deal with whatever obstacle is there. I really shouldn't be to hard on movies using this plot, it's been a standard for a long time, I mean The Divine Comedy is a classic example. The appeal of this kind of adventure story for writers is easy to understand, it can allow for interesting obstacles that the characters must stand up against, can lead to interesting locations and can lead to some good character interactions. Done right, you can get a movie like Kubo and the Two Strings or The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie. Of course the downside is that if you do this story type poorly, you can end up with a story where the situations and locations are more interesting than the characters. Yellow Submarine worked because the locations were bizarre and literally otherworldly, and the Beavis and Butt-Head movie worked because of the characters complete lack of understanding of what was going on.

Speaking on characters, you don't have a bad selection, just not a very interesting one. You got your headstrong tough character who does first and thinks later, you have your smart and timid but heartful nerd, and you have the big eater dum-dum. You can tell which character arcs they're gonna get, one has to learn to not lead others into danger, one has to learn to stand up for themselves and one has to have their genius idea that proves they're not an idiot. I wouldn't say the characters are awful, but much like the plot, they're really nothing special.

As an aside, it is really hard to separate modern views on subjects like this. On the one hand, I can't be too hard on movies that keep to the formula because, well there is always the chance that this will be the first time someone sees this kind of story. This is a kids movie, so simple formulas are not too unwelcome. However, it really is hard to not notice when this is getting repeated, and unless you really like this kind of thing, you're going to want to see new twists on the formula. This was a big problem I had with Klaus, which, while still a good movie, had a very formulaic plot that I could see where it was going before it got there. Whether or not this thing bothers you... well it depends on you more than anything else.

As for the technicals of this movie, the best I can say is that they're mixed. The animation is, mostly good. There were some moments that didn't sit right with me, but rather than try to explain it, I'll just say that, I can understand if someone thinks the animation is good or bad. It does look appealing, not visually stunning, but I can look at it and see that some talent was put into it. There weren't any moments that looked ugly, super bright or visually unpleasing. I can give it a pass for the animation.

Music wise, on the other hand is... a half mark. This is another example of a "pseudo-musical", a movie that only qualifies as a musical because it has more than one song in it, but no more than three. The two songs in this movie were... not good. The first song is sung by Michael Crawford, so, take that for what it's worth. Honestly I can't really decide if I disliked the song or if I just thought it was bland, and the other song was part of that scene with the gospel birds. Thankfully the background music was not too bad, but it wasn't very memorable either. I think the technicals are another aspect of this movie that are nothing special.

Really, "nothing special" perfectly summarizes the movie. The animation isn't terrible, the music isn't unlistenable, the characters aren't awful and the plot isn't a mess, but it's all nothing special. It's a harmless watch, I can see someone watching this with their kids and not hating it, or even as a morbid curiosity viewing. It's harmless, but nothing special. Even for kids, I can recommend something like Smallfoot, which is also rather safe but still offers a bit more than this movie. While I can see people watching this movie, I can't see anyone really loving it, so I can't really recommend this movie. It's better than FernGully, but that really isn't saying a whole lot.

Charlotte's Web (1973) - A charming, but not very interesting movie

Have you ever seen a movie you wanted to like so much, but just couldn't? There are lots of movies out there that critics and audiences love, but you and I might not. I have a couple myself and sadly, I do have to admit that this is one of them. I'm not the only one to not like this movie though, E.B. White, the author of the original book also didn't like this movie. However, rather than dump all over a movie that many people more than likely have fond memories of, I'm going to look at both the good and the bad of the film, and see if there is anything that other viewers might latch onto.

Charlotte's Web tells the story of Wilbur, a pig that was born the runt of the litter. After he grows bigger and gets sold to a new farmer, he befriends a spider by the name of Charlotte, and a gosling named Jeffery and together, try to come up with a plan to keep Wilbur from being killed and eaten. Plot wise the movie is very cohesive, the film does not cut out the reasons for decisions being made. Wilbur must be sold because he's getting to big, Charlotte spins webs with words on them to keep Wilbur from becoming ham and bacon. Being based on a book, I would expect some level of cohesive narrative, so as a whole, the plot and narrative are solid.

As I haven't read the book in a long time, I won't comment on the changes between book to screen, I'm gonna save that for a different movie.

That being said, the plot does often take a back seat to the song numbers in this film. This movie loves to have its song numbers and very few of them are good. Not that they're badly written or sung, I really only found myself being annoyed by one song in the movie. That being said, none of the songs are really memorable, even the one song I kind of liked was not terribly memorable. While the songs aren't great, the background music is actually pretty good, setting the mood perfectly, and not overstaying its welcome like a lot of the songs do. I don't think this movie is very strong musically.

The characters of this movie are pretty strong. Wilbur is kind-hearted and friendly, I think most viewers can sympathize with his will to survive, though personally I cared a little more for the side characters. Templeton the rat is one of those, only out for himself kind of characters, which leads to him being a scoundrel. Despite this, he's one of the better characters in the film, getting excited over food and ultimately doing what is right, even if just for the reward. Though of all the characters in the film, Charlotte has to be my favourite. She is very kind and caring, but also stern and cunning, tricking Templeton into nearly getting eaten by a cat. Charlotte is a great character and is giving a very well done send-off.

I think animation wise, this film is okay. Backgrounds are well drawn and character animation is fluent, the movie looks good, but it also pulls a few cheap tricks in repeating animations. I also noticed some lip sync issues, but they weren't the worst I've ever seen, and whenever Wilbur would face the screen, it looked a little weird. Overall though, I will say it is a nice looking movie, it is pleasing to the eyes and never harsh or unpleasant to look at. I think, of the 1970s, this is one of the better looking American animated movies of the time period.

Objectively speaking, Charlotte's Web is a fine movie, but personally I found the movie to be a little uninteresting. While I did enjoy Charlotte's character and her interactions with Wilbur and Templeton, those are about the only highlights I can think of. Songs are forgettable, the rest of the characters aren't great, and it's not a very engaging watch. That being said, it is a classic animated feature, and I will admit that I have been spoiled by the standards of today. If I watched this when I was younger I probably would have enjoyed the songs and characters a lot more. I can't really recommend it based on my feelings towards the film, so take this review with a grain of salt. It's not a bad movie, just not one that grabbed me, though their are worse offenders in that regard.