Top 20 Worst Cartoon Theme Songs

So... I've been working on a... certain project. One that involves a lot of heavy and uncomfortable subject matter, and needs a lot of careful wording. It also is a lot of condensing really large stories into a couple of paragraphs, and one story is still kinda sorta ongoing. The bulk of that project is written, and as you can imagine it has taken a lot out of me... So let's do something fun.

Everybody loves theme songs, catchy ones like DuckTales or SpongeBob, Iconic ones like The Flintstones or The Simpsons, epic ones like Batman: The Animated Series or King Arthur and the Knights of Justice, Popular shows like Rugrats and ThunderCats, obscure shows like Cybersix or C.O.W.Boys of Moo Mesa, great shows like Gravity Falls and Amphibia, terrible shows like Sonic Underground. The theme song really is like an advertisement to your show, it has to sell the show to the viewer before they even see the first episode, many theme songs do a great job of selling the show to the viewer while being a pleasant musical experience. We will not be talking about any of those theme songs today.

Some theme songs do not succeed in selling a show, some theme songs are bland, annoying, cringe-inducing, badly-written, badly-sung, incoherent, just all around poorly made. So of course the question now becomes, which ones are the worst? A question that lots and lots of others have discussed, and now I am going to throw my opinion in the ring. These are the worst, the most annoying, the unbearable cartoon theme songs, in English speaking languages that is.

#20. Sherlock Holmes in the 22nd Century

I like this show, I genuinely do, but I can absolutely see why it has fallen into obscurity. The show is very much nothing special and does have a bit of wasted potential as I have said before. I can also imagine viewers were probably turned off from the theme song. A trend you will notice among theme songs is that a lot of them like to repeat their names over and over again, granted I don't think you really need much explanation for the concept of a show titled "Sherlock Holmes in the 22nd Century", but that does not change the fact that the theme song is still the show's name repeated ad nauseam  over a weird techno house club beat. There are a lot of theme songs that would have benefited from just being instrumental, but don't let that dissuade you from checking out the show, just be prepared to grab that remote when the "Skip Intro" button appears.

 

#19. Potato Head Kids

 

They gave a cartoon to everything in the 80s, didn't they? I really don't want to be too hard on this one, frankly I didn't even want to put it on the list. Nothing about these theme song is inherently terrible, the lyrics are bland and tell us nothing, and the music is kind of standard for the time, those don't help matters but they really are not "top 20" worthy. However, leniency only stretches so far, and having the main cast sing the song is what warrants the placement on this list. Whoever thought these voices were good enough to sing a theme song, they are wrong and if nobody had a better idea for a theme song than that is very sad.

 

#18. Hong Kong Phooey

You might wonder, how far back do "bad" theme songs go. Surely someone has been complaining about how bad music and lyrics were for television theme songs as far back as the 1960s, but for the purposes of this list, we're only going as far back as the 1970s, 1974 to be exact. It starts with a spoken dialogue bit that is meant to build interest but is just kind of slow, and when it does get to the theme song, it's just kind of bland until around the fifty second mark when they just make a bunch of noises that vaguely sound like kung fu noises... I guess? I dunno, something about this show just rubs me the wrong way.

 

#17. Shirt Tales

I think I've found the most boring theme song in the world, seriously. There are three main parts to this theme song, the introduction, the role-call and the title drop, they do this twice and the lyrics are about as generic as you possibly can get. It's all "Who do you call when you're in trouble" stuff, which only makes me want to listen to "Ghostbusters" which at least has that iconic keyboard riff. The role call isn't really good either, it's like they're trying to keep in beat but just can't quite keep up. Also, poor Bogey is always the last one to be named, justice for Bogey.

 

#16. Super Duper Sumos

Hey, another theme song that repeats it's name over and over again. Okay, that is a bit unfair, there are other lyrics just shouted at you. Otherwise it's just "Super Duper Sumos" and how they got guts and big butts... which is a pun and a butt joke. Having "Guts" means that they are brave, courageous, risk-taking, but they're also fat, so they have a massive gut. I am not worried about explaining the joke here, it wasn't funny to begin with.

 

#15. Mighty Ducks: The Animated Series

Believe it or not, "Ducks Rock" is not the reason this song is on the list. What puts this theme song on the list is that it is some of the worst sounding "Trying to be hip" music I've ever heard. The show premiered in late 1996, so what kind of music should we make our theme song to interest the youths of the time? I know, out of date Glam Rock, and let's get the guy who sang "We Built This City" to sing it. I can think of worse combinations, I guess. In 1996, Alt Rock was the popular form of rock music, Glam Rock was so passe, and stuff like this is the reason why. Cheap Mötley Crüe sound-alikes aren't going to bring the genre back, especially since they weren't even doing their brand of Glam Rock by this time either, Generation Swine was released in 1997. Also, the theme song's title... It actually is "Ducks Rock"... give me Disco Duck anyway of the week.

 

14. Pickle & Peanut

It's just a list of things. The bulk of this theme song is literally just a monotone voice listing off items over a (trap?) beat before "singing" the title of the show. Is it really that easy to write a theme song? let me try.

Pens, cap guns, grapes, erasers, lip balm, duct tape, hey!
Rope, candles, weights, newsprint, aloe, spice mix, yum!

There, that's the theme song to my brand new show, Joe and the Henway, coming to streaming in 8995 AD. Enjoy.

 

13. Pokémon: DP Battle Dimension

Okay, hot take, but Diamond and Pearl is not the worst theme song Pokémon ever had. It is a cringe-inducing attempt at rap, but you know what's worse? The Battle Dimension theme song. Believe it or not, I've always found this theme song worse than Diamond and Pearl's rap, but I couldn't quite figure out why. I assumed it's because of the pillowy-soft music, but on closer inspection I think I know the real reason; this song doesn't feel like a Pokémon theme song. The lyrics are all "brave and strong" and "We can be heroes and change the world" and I'm thinking, "What does this have to do with Pokémon?" When did Pokémon become a generic magical girl anime?

 

12. Breadwinners and Angela Anaconda

I'm putting these two theme songs together because they both have one major problem, and they're both really short.

Breadwinners is the most recent show, so I'll start with that. The instrumentation of this show is obnoxious, it's like dubstep from people who don't know what dubstep sounds like. Not that the lyrics are much better, but it's basically lazy puns (get it, Quazy! Because they're ducks!) and juvenile humour. Really though, it's blessedly short, and that would grant it some leniency, but there was another theme song that was very similar.

Angela Anaconda's big problem is the singing, this girl can't sing. I wonder if this was intentional, like the director said to the voice actress, "alright, we want you to imagine the worst singing voice for your character". This song also has similar issues with lyrics, it's just kind of a nothing sandwich, it's "This is me, this is my show" and nothing else of substance. Between the two of them, I think Angela Anaconda's is worse, but I find them similar enough to warrant making this entry a tie, and it won't be our only one.

 

11. Coconut Fred's Fruit Salad Island

I think I actually wanted to leave this song off the list, not because I have any fondness for it, but because... it's biggest issue is that it's just kind of confused. What does this theme song want to be? A tropical thing? Something with sci-fi tones? A theme song that shouts it's name over and over again? An instrumental? Something with beat-boxing? This theme really is just the definition of "Throw everything at the wall and see what sticks". Also, never end a theme song to any show with the main character saying "Yay Me!".

 

10. Kung Fu Dino Posse

Another theme song that kind of has no clue what it wants to be, so it does all three weird genres. Generic superhero introduction, cringe rap theme and... epic Broadway choir? The rap part of the theme song is so horribly sung, like the singer is intentionally putting on as nasally a voice as they can, and it has some of the worst jokes you've ever heard, like hilariously mispronouncing the word "pterodactyl". Really, the only reason this show is not higher on the list is because... really who cares? Nobody cares about a show called Kung Fu Dino Posse... note to self, make a blog post about Kung Fu Dino Posse.

 

9. Rugrats 2021 and The Magic School Bus Rides Again

Yep, another shared entry, reboots with remade versions of the original theme songs that are infinitely worse.

Rugrats 2021 decided that it would be a good idea to add a buzzing synth to the start of the theme song, seriously, why did they pick the fuzziest, most unlistenable synth sound they could have picked for this theme song? At the very least, the song becomes tolerable after that, not necessarily good, but tolerable.

The same cannot be said for The Magic School Bus Rides Again, which decided that Little Richard needed to be replaced by Lin-Manuel Miranda. Look, I don't hate Lin-Manuel, he's done stuff I liked and has been in things I really liked, but he just missed the mark for this theme song. A lot of the punch and tight performance from Richard is replaced with trailing off on certain lines, so a line like "Raft a River of Lava" has the final syllable elongated for no reason. Honestly, I could have mistaken this for a Will.i.am cover at points.

Sometimes remaking the theme song for a show can lead to good results, there are lots of people who will argue the 2017 DuckTales theme song is better than the 1987 DuckTales theme song. Really though, that may be the exception rather than the example, because if these two theme songs prove anything, it's that the originals are often untouchable.

8. Hammerman

Hello easy target. Yeah, you all knew this was going to make the list, and you all know the reasons why it was going to make the list. If by some blessed miracle you don't know, seriously thank every god you do and do not believe in if you have not heard this theme song. It's almost so bad it's good, but the crushing length is what brings it down to just being "bad", and you wouldn't think that if you looked it up online, one minute and nineteen seconds, that's a bit on the lengthy side but it's still pretty standard for a cartoon theme song. It's not that the song itself is long, it's that it details every single part of the origin story, straight up to even explaining "Gramps opened up the bag and took out the magical shoes". It drones on giving you every detail of an origin that would have, and should have been shown in the first episode. But again, you knew all that.

 

7. Mew Mew Power and One Piece

 

This is the last shared entry here, and you probably knew these were coming too. Hello 4Kids, nice to see you here. 4Kids is notorious for terrible dub jobs that made anime "more appropriate for children" by which they mean they made everything Americanized and ruined a lot of anime. It didn't help that a lot of their dubs came with awful theme songs.

Mew Mew Power is probably the better of the two here, in that I can see people liking it, but that doesn't mean I get it. This is one of the most generic sounding theme songs in existence, literally any anime could have the lyrics "Team up 'cause it's not too late/We can save the day if we collaborate", I think those were from the scrapped lyrics bin for Sailor Moon... no that's too harsh, Sailor Moon's writers didn't even consider writing those lines. Funny enough, for the theme song to a show called "Mew Mew Power" they really don't have any cat related imagery in the lyrics, they mention birds though! Also, "It's hard to save the world when you're falling in love"? This is a Magical Girl Anime!

Of course, you're not here because of Mew Mew Power, you're here for the infamous, the notorious, the cringe inducing, One Piece rap. I mean, I guess the only thing I have to ask is... why? Why did they decide that an adventure anime about a rubber pirate needed a rap theme song? Really, this is just adding insult to injury, it's like "Ha ha, we're gonna censor the anime to the point that it has no bite to it, remove several episodes and change the story to this anime, and we're also going to give it the worst theme song we possibly could give it."

This is why 4Kids went defunct in... 2017? Really?

6. RoboCop: Alpha Commando

I think the real tragedy of this theme song is that it opens really good. It's got that vibe to it that would totally fit a cyberpunk setting, really if this track was an instrumental, it probably would have been a theme song that people remember fondly. Unfortunately, they had to include lyrics. This is another theme song that has to shout the name of the show for the duration of the theme song... except it doesn't even do that, it just shouts "RoboCop" a bunch of times and hopes that you're find it cool. RoboCop is one of my favourite movies, the satire is still wildly relevant and the action scenes are perfectly bloody, and I guarantee you, adding this theme song to any action scene in the movie, makes it ten times funnier. It's not a good thing, but if you want a good laugh...

 

5. High Guardian Spice

Ladies, gentlemen and everyone outside the binary, I present to you, the literal most generic theme song you will ever hear. Fun fact, I initially put this theme song on my shortlist as a joke. Like I knew it wasn't going to be good, but like I thought it would be Honourable Mentions material at worst. I mean, how bad can it possibly be? Oh... oh dear god... it was bad. I had such a negative reaction hearing this theme song, it says nothing about the show, it says nothing about the characters, it has no identity outside of being tied to... High Guardian Spice... I should have guessed that one of the most generic animated shows of all time would get one of the most, actually no, the most generic theme song of all time. This theme song is so generic it actually makes me mad, like Pickle & Peanut was befuddling, Mew Mew Power was boring, this is actually aggravating. Remind me to watch this entire thing for another blog post in the future.

 

4. The Nutshack

It's the nutshack... it's the nutshack... it's the nutshack... it's the nutshack...

That is the first half of this theme song, just repeating those three words over and over again, until we get another bad rap theme song that is either so poorly sung, so poorly mixed, or both, that it is legit impossible to understand what is being said without using a lyrics sheet to follow along. This is another theme song that has achieved infamous status and memedom, this theme song is so bad, it actually falls into "So bad it's good" territory, because I don't think I have ever heard a theme song this incompetent before. Clearly this is the second worst example of a theme song that sings the title of the show on repeat until it ends... what is the worst?

 

3. Dragon Ball Z

Apparently, this is the Canadian version of the intro, because why did Canada need it's own intro to Dragon Ball Z? Did America just not want to share it's dub intro? Whatever the case, this is another theme song that so bad it's good, because legit, this is hilarious. It's the plainest sounding guys singing "Dragon Dragon Ball" followed by what I can only describe as an "epic toy commercial voice" sings "Dragon Ball Z" for the duration of the theme song, save for one bit in the middle where they sing "Rock the Dragon/Dragon Ball Z", I am genuinely surprised this hasn't fallen into Memedom like The Nutshack theme has. If you're wondering why this is higher on the list than The Nutshack, it's because The Nutshack theme song has actual lyrics. Cybersix this really is not.

2. The Brothers Flub

Finally, the last obvious entry on this list. Come on, as soon as you hear the words "Worst Theme Songs" the first three words you immediately think of are "The" and "Brothers" and "Flub" specifically in that order. This theme technically doesn't count as an instrumental theme, but that's only because the lyrics to this song are literally just "Flub flub flub flub flub!" sang over the most annoying "la-la-la" you will ever hear. I think the only reason this theme song has instrumentation is because some producer had enough common sense to realize that the A Capella la-la flubbing would probably make people go deaf by the desire to cut their ears off with rusty hedge trimmers. it may also explain why they try to drown out the theme song with constant obnoxious noises. I refuse to believe that nobody behind this theme song thought it was a bad idea, someone had to realize that this was awful, but either didn't care or didn't want to throw away all the hard work they put into making this. The only real question is, why the heck is this not number one?

 

1. The Adventures of Kid Danger

I think this is it, the worst cartoon theme song in the world, it is poorly sung, lazily written, has obnoxious dialogue in the middle for no reason... yep, calling it now, this is the worst. it ticks off all the boxes for a bad theme song. Bad lyrics? "This is the song for the Adventures of Kid Danger", I think that counts as a yes. Annoying? Absolutely. Cringe-inducing... You know what, yes, it is cringe inducing. It makes me cringe that anyone thought that this was okay. Like, on some level, Brothers Flub is at least memorable, you're never going to forget it no matter how many spork lobotomies you receive. You might think that would make it worse, but at the very least the "Flub" singing was listenable. This is unlistenable in every aspect. One may argue that it isn't the most bad, but I'd counter by arguing that it is the least good, I can literally make a defence for every other theme song on this list before this one, yes even One Piece, even Coconut Fred, even The Brothers Flub. This is the worst cartoon theme song, and it wasn't even close.

 

Honourable Mentions:

Mega Babies - I mean... barring the bodily noises I'd dare say this one almost sounds pleasant. It's like a tolerable version of The Brothers Flub.

The Wonderful Wizard of Oz - I was so tempted to throwing this one on the list, it's just another pillowy soft cloud of nothing, but I guess it kinda sorta fits with the show.

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power - After High Guardian Spice I realize that I was way too harsh with my initial disdain for this theme song... that doesn't make it good though.

Pac-Man - It's an arcade having a seizure before someone growls "Pac-Man" twice. It's not on the list because I only barely consider it a theme song.

Shaggy and Scooby-Doo, Get a Clue! - Heh heh heh... what a bunch of nonsense. I don't think this is the worst, but uh... yeah it is worthy of disdain.

Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure - I left this one off the list solely because it absolutely is the kind of music that Bill and Ted would be all over. It's like if Jay and Silent Bob had a cartoon and the theme song was just stoned mumbling over a Morris Day esque beat, how mad can you really be at that?

Fanboy and Chum Chum - This one was left off the list because it very clearly intended on being annoying... it just failed at being annoying properly.

The Wacky World of Tex Avery - Gross and Annoying... what a winning combo...

My Gym Partner's a Monkey - You know, this show would be a horrible title if it wasn't absolutely literal.

7 Animation Myths, Rumours and Urban Legends Busted, Debunked and Questioned

 Trigger Warnings:

-Suicide
-Phallic Imagery

 

The world is full of urban legends, and honestly, these can be some of the most entertaining rabbit holes to explore. You get legends like "Dial a certain number on your cellphone and it magically charges it for you" to things like "The Cat-wolf-goat witch of Butt-knuckle nowhere who eats your eyes unless you offer her a cup of sassafras tea while singing old English sea shanties", these urban legends can get absolutely wild. Unsurprisingly, the art world is also full of these myths and urban legends, and they are especially prevalent in animation.

What it is about animation and urban legends is hard to guess. It might be because some people misremembered something, misunderstood a scene they watched, or just retold a story they heard the wrong way, sometimes things get misreported, sometimes opinion gets confused as fact, sometimes Fact A combines with Fact B to make Possibility Z, things happen. Regardless, there are a lot of rumours, urban legends and myths about animated shows and movies that just are not true, and some that are. So I figured it would be fun to talk about some of these myths and see if I can find the truth about them. So, with all of that said, here are five animation myths busted, and some others confirmed.

Before we begin I want to give an honourable mention to the Sponge Boy story. The story that the original name for SpongeBob, which was Sponge Boy, was already taken by a mop or cleaning product and so could not be used. I was tempted to include this one on the list, but I learned of it literally two days ago, so I'm gonna leave this link to a video by YouTuber Kid Leaves Stoop about the story.

7. Literally anything regarding creepypasta

Thumbnail Credit: "Cartoon Creepypastas are Dumb" by LS Mark, "Top 10 Worst Nickelodeon Creepypastas" by PhantomStrider, and "Top 10 Worst SPONGEBOB CREEPYPASTAS (Feat. PhantomStrider)" by HoodoHoodlumsRevenge

Okay, this one is kind of cheating, but I have to mention this because I know someone is going to bring up this "Lost SpongeBob Episode for being too dark" or "How everything in this show is actually just a dream or hallucination" or something like that, so let me break this down; the general rule is that, if it's a creepypasta, it's safe to assume it isn't true.

I feel like the big reason people even humour the notion that anything creepypasta related is true is simply the fact that, on some level, we all want it to be. We want there to be a lost Mickey Mouse short film that is satanic and evil, why? Because we want to expose every bad thing The Walt Disney Company ever did, and a short film that causes people to go crazy? That would be a perfect thing to dirty up Disney's squeaky clean image. A lost SpongeBob episode involving suicide? Of course we want that to be real, because it would explain why an episode like One Course Meal or A Pal For Gary exist.

What also gets to me are all the theories that people make about certain shows. Pokémon is actually all Ash's comatose dreams, Ed, Edd n' Eddy takes place in purgatory, the children in South Park are all ghosts, Family Guy is actually a mental delusion by Peter after his kids died in a car accident and his wife committed suicide. I did not make any of these theories up by the way. I think on some level we talk about these theories because, they are some explanations as to why the usual quirks of cartoons are the way they are. Like, why does Ash Ketchum stay 10 for his entire pokémon journey? Well of course it's because he's actually in a coma. Why do the kids in South Park never age despite the world around them changing? Well obviously they are all the ghosts of murdered children. Like, I get the temptation and the need to look deeper into things, but sometimes the curtains are just blue, you know.

I almost don't want to give too much guff about this, I fell into these traps too as a kid, and it's not like this is a new thing. I remember talking about a "Lost SpongeBob Episode" which was supposedly the final episode of the series, an episode where SpongeBob smoked, swore, and killed Mr. Krabs and Squidward. Still though, one does have to apply some common sense and logic to these cases, Disney making a short film that makes people kill themselves? Walt Disney was a lot of things, but a satanic sorcerer who put curses on his short films? I doubt he was that. The South Park kids being ghosts because they never age? I think a floating timeline is a better explanation.

I like to think that Creepypasta is losing its popularity, but recently I got a creepypasta screamer add-on for Garry's Mod, so maybe not. Creepypasta is so early 2010s.

 

6. Class of 3000 was dropped because of a lawsuit

Class of 3000 was not a cartoon I grew up with, I don't really remember watching much TV when it was airing, and it was never on when I was watching TV. Me not watching Cartoon Network because I had Teletoon instead might have also had something to do with it, though it's not like it wouldn't have aired on Teletoon. Anyway, the point I'm making is, the only times I ever heard of this rumour, was when it was being debunked.

Class of 3000 was a Cartoon Network show created by and starring musician André 3000, the premise was about a music teacher who taught about music, from the history to the creation of it and everything in between and beyond, and each episode featured one original song. Then, one day in 2008, the show just disappeared, and no real explanation was given, but there was a possibility. Around the same time, someone allegedly sued Cartoon Network over infringement, because they also pitched an idea about a music teacher who taught about music, from the history to the creation of it, and everything between and beyond, and each episode would feature one original song. This lead to people assuming the show was cancelled because of said lawsuit.

I'm not a lawyer so don't take anything I say as legal advice, but this kind of reminds me of two cartoons from the 1980s. You know why there were two different shows titled "Ghostbusters" in the 1980s? because one was based on the 1980s movie, with the characters and objects from the 1980s movie, titled "The Real Ghostbusters", and the other was based on a 1975 sitcom, and had characters and objects based on things from the 1975 sitcom. So, while someone did in fact sue Cartoon Network, as well as André 3000 and Turner Broadcasting, he lost the suit because Class of 3000 was determined to be different enough to not violate any copyright.

So why was it cancelled? Well, according to a comment designer David Colman made on DeviantArt, the ratings of the show were too low to justify the high cost of making it. It also appears that it was not an easy show to make, especially since André was probably busy with... you know other priorities since he is a musician. So, there you go, it was not due to a lawsuit, it was due to ratings... it's funny how this lesson of "It's usually pulled for ratings" is not a lesson we learn easily.

 

5. Korra was pulled from air for homophobia

Okay, of all the rumours on this list, this is probably the most believable, given the time period it was happening, frankly I can't blame anyone for believing it, honestly I'm not even sure if I fully disbelieve it. However, fair is fair so let's talk about The Legend of Korra, and how it was treated by Nickelodeon.

The Legend of Korra was the sequel series to Avatar: The Last Airbender, it featured the new Avatar, Korra, and her own journey of becoming the Avatar. Regardless of what you think about The Legend of Korra, and frankly I'm not the biggest fan of it, but the show was not treated well by Nickelodeon. In the late 2010s, Nickelodeon was pulling shows left and right because, the late 2010s was a transitionary period that nobody was prepared for, people were ditching cable to move towards streaming, and this meant that ratings started to dip for a lot of shows, even popular ones. However, something else was happening around the late 2010s, there was more of a push about queer rights and representation.

Why is that latter bit necessary? Because it was rumoured that the reason Korra was officially pulled from the network and dumped online, was because it was known that Korra and Asami were going to end up in a relationship at the end of the finale. Again, it is easy to understand why one would think this, many companies, especially Disney, have been very... apathetic about queer representation, preferring to make very minor queer characters that can easily be erased for markets that don't allow these characters on screen. The thing is, unless you were super into subtext, the only hint we got that Korra and Asami were going to get together, was right at the very end. To be fair, it is kind of hard to address your feelings in the middle of a giant mech fight, because Korra had a giant Mech fight, what was this show‽

Also, it is worth pointing out that, while Nickelodeon did treat this show horribly, it wasn't the only show of the 2010s that they mistreated, Harvey Beaks is also very much in this group chat, also according to Bryan Konietzko, the show did way better online and in streaming than on TV, so with all of that, I am going to go on a limb and say that it wasn't because of some light evidence of a same-sex relationship. You don't have to believe the official statement, but the official statement is made.

 

4. The Road Runner Rules

This one is... questionable, in that we have information to verify one part of this rumour, but not enough to fully confirm nor debunk this, so bear with me because this one may be true, may be false, or may just be true but misrepresented, or false but based on some truth, lots of rumours and urban legends fall under one of those four categories.

The Road Runner and Coyote are a famous Looney Tunes duo who debuted in 1949 in the short film Fast and Furry-ous, and have starred in a total of 41 cartoons from 1949 to 1966, with an additional nine cartoons from 1979 until 2014, and they have been mainstays in the Looney Tunes ensemble since their debut. These shorts were created by Chuck Jones and Michael Maltese, both of whom are animation legends. Famously, Chuck Jones had a list of nine rules that he laid out in his book Chuck Amuck: The Life and Times of an Animated Cartoonist, these rules pertained to the Road Runner cartoons, and all the writers behind these cartoons had to stick to them.

Now, here is where this gets fuzzy, because Chuck may have had these rules, however it is also possible that these were just rules that he stuck to when he wrote these shorts, or rules he wrote down for other future creators to follow when making Road Runner cartoons, because Michael Maltese never actually heard about these rules. It also doesn't help that another writer, Jason Kottke, had a different list with eleven rules, so what does this mean? It means either, Chuck Jones ever actually wrote down these rules and only did so later in life, or these rules never actually existed in the first place, because some of these rules are just strange.

Rule 5 states that "The Road Runner Must stay on the Road - Otherwise, logically, he would not be called a road runner". There are many instances of the Road Runner running on not road things, including cliffs, fake roads and even the air. Rule 2 states that "No outside force can harm the Coyote - only his own ineptitude of the failure of acme products." There are moments where the Road Runner does actually cause harm to the Coyote, not directly of course, he usually just beeps at him and makes him jump off a cliff or into some rocks. Also, there are a couple times the Coyote gets hit by a vehicle or directly run over by the Road Runner, which also breaks Rule 1, which states that "The Road Runner cannot harm the Coyote except by going 'Beep-Beep!'". One of the extra rules from Kottke states that "The audience's sympathy must remain with the Coyote." which, I feel just kind of misses the point of the whole concept of the shorts, and directly contradicts Rule 3, which states that "The Coyote could stop anytime - if he were not a fanatic."

It might be fun to go through each cartoon and see how many times the rules are broken, but for now, I think with the fact that Michael Maltese never heard of these rules, there is contradicting evidence about how many rules there are, and the fact that some of these rules are very much not followed, or at least were not initially followed, I think it's safe to say that this is not one-hundred percent the truth.

 

3. Little Mermaid, Big Phallus

Alright, almost everything else on this list has been, and will be heavily involved, so let's do something that's relatively simpler. It was common rumour at the time, and still today that there is a phallus drawn on the cover of the VHS release of Disney's The Little Mermaid, and some even make the claim the it was a deliberate move by a disgruntled artist who was being laid off from Disney.

According to Snopes, this is not true. It is true that there is a tower in the background of the image that looks like a male phallus, actually there are a couple but one in particular that looks really phallic. The truth is that it was completely accidental, according to Snopes, the artist rushed to get the video release cover finished and did not even notice the resemblance until he heard people talk about the controversy. It also is not true that this was just for the VHS release, it's also on the theatrical posters.

Really, I could have gone with any weird Disney renaissance sex rumour, like the word "sex" appearing in dust and pollen in The Lion King, which was actually meant to be a nod to the Sound Effects crew of the movie by spelling "SFX", and I remember one person online claiming that Aladdin was telling people to take of their clothes, when he was whispering for a tiger to "Take off and go", it is easy to see these things, especially when we are looking for them, but it does not change the fact that none of it is true.

There is also a claim that Disney has a whole bunch of pornographic drawings of their characters that were drawn by Disney staff, whether or not this is real is debatable, I can see arguments being made on both sides, of course the rumoured Mickey and Minnie sex tape can also be thrown into this section, but the main point of this bit was the untrue stuff about Sex and the Disney Renaissance movies, so there you go.

 

2. Hey Arnold had a Suicide in it

Alright, back to the heavy stuff,  on November 20, 1996, the Nickelodeon show Hey Arnold! aired episode 14b, "Pigeon Man". The episode is about Arnold meeting the mysterious recluse known as Pigeon Man, in hopes he will take care of one of Arnold's sick pigeons. In the end, Arnold befriends Pigeon Man, but Arnold's friends trash his place, causing Pigeon Man to fly away towards the setting sun.

The rumour is that the original ending of the episode was that Pigeon man jumped off the side of the building and died, and that Nickelodeon had to step in and reject this ending outright, this leads to a similar theory that the ending is an allegory for suicide with the image of Pigeon Man flying towards the sun being Arnold blocking out the image of Pigeon Man jumping to his death.

Craig Bartlett has admitted that he hates this theory and he specifically put Pigeon Man in The Jungle Movie to put the rumours to rest. Pigeon Man was never meant to commit suicide, and he was never meant to be considered an allegory for suicide. I think this one was though about because, Hey Arnold! is one of the darker Nicktoons, not as dark as Invader Zim, but it was definitely darker than something like Rocko's Modern Life or KaBlam! was. It did seem plausible that the writers would try to get something like a suicide allegory into the show. Funny enough, in 1999 the episode "Dino Checks Out" aired, which was about the character Dino Spumoni faking his own death, and in 2003, the episode "Ghost Bride" aired, where Gerald tells the story of a ghost bride who was left at the altar and her fiance married her sister instead, so she murdered them both and jumped out the window to her death.

I think because of these later episodes, and the general tone of the show, it made sense for a lot of people that "Pigeon Man" would have such a dark ending, but the reality is that it was never the case, Pigeon Man was always going to fly off into the sunset, and he was always going to be alive at the end of the episode.

 

1. The Who and What Bears?

Let's finish this by discussing probably the most well known myth about... well okay this isn't about animation but it is animation adjacent, so I might as well talk about it. So, here's a question, were the books "Berenstain" or "Berenstein" for you growing up? That's a fun question because it has lead people to what is known as "The Mandela Effect", which is a term given to false memories, and has devolved into a conspiracy about parallel universes, named after Nelson Mandela, who people believed had died in prison in the 1980s, even though in 1993 he was one of the recipients of the Nobel Peace Prize.

So a lot of people swear that the spelling of the name of both the bears and the authors of the books was spelled "Berenstein", however all the books are spelled "Berenstain", so what gives? Well, Mike Berenstain, current author of the books and the son of Stan and Jan Berenstain, has stated that this confusion actually predates the books, as one of Stan's teachers in elementary school said that "Berenstain" was not a real name and changed it to "Berenstein", but the name "Berenstain" is on the birth-certificates of Mike's grandparents, and other documents.

It might be due to the fact that the family was Jewish, so a "Stein" suffix to their surname would be expected, but the family was also Ukrainian, so the pronunciation of their names would have been different, so if they immigrated to the United States, whoever was documenting their arrival might have tried to spell their name phonetically, though Mike also says that spelling it as such was what the family did.

Of course, it is not out of the realm of possibility that the Berenstein surname was also used to sign the books a couple of times. Shakespeare had several ways to spell his surname, which leads to the theory that he either did not exist and was the sixteenth century equivalent of Alan Smithee, or that Shakespeare was not actually the writer of any of his work. The difference of course being that the Berenstains died in the twenty-first century, and have a lot more records about them written down.

 

So there we are, seven famous rumours, myths and urban legends about animation completely busted, or partially busted. I think ultimately there is an importance to doing stuff like this, Todd in the Shadows did a similar video about James Somerton and a bunch of mistruths and lies he spread in his videos, and the thesis of that was that the truth matters, and in some regards that is also the thesis of this blog. Really though, this is not spreading misinformation about medicine or even making weird claims about Nazis and fitness culture, at best this is silly nonsense kids talked about at school, and at worst it is accusing companies of things, neither of which are really crimes or even really wrong.

But still, eventually you are going to have to learn the truth behind these rumours. I don't really want to think about people who hold on to the idea that Hey Arnold! was going to have Arnold witness a suicide. Like, why do you still want to believe that? Do you really want to believe that the spelling of a surname is the proof that there are multiple universes that we jump between at random? What do you get from that, outside of people looking at you like you have a second head? I think the reality is that when you just accept something as a fact without looking into it, it only proves you're more gullible than you think.

YouTube's Algorithm is Terrible For All Creators, not Just Online Ones

FUTURE ME HERE!

So this blog was published back on March 27th and written prior to that, so past me who wrote this was not aware of things going on behind the scenes. In this blog I make a minor defence of YouTuber SaberSpark as he was in some hot water for making a video on the Snow White remake instead of the Looney Tunes movie in theatres at the same time. I want to stress, that is the ONLY thing I am defending here, but as information about his defending of an alleged groomer and alleged inappropriate behaviour on Saber's side as well, I want to make it clear that I can not defend, will not defend, and am not defending those actions.

Thank you and on with the show!

Do you guys remember back in the day when you could look up on YouTube and find videos on some of the most obscure nonsense ever? Like, watching a movie review on the fourth Karate Kid movie, or a video game review on some unlicensed NES Game that nobody ever heard of, or some foreign cartoon that never made it in the U.S. but was still somewhat decent. Have you ever noticed that now most YouTube creators tend to be making videos based more on trends and things that have become or were always really popular? Is there any reason that the Nostalgia Critic is reviewing the Peter Jackson Lord of the Rings movies outside of the fact that they would get a lot of views? Has AVGN done a review of a lesser known game since Hudson Hawk? Maybe My Horse Prince, but that is an outlier in a sea of Garfield, SimCity and Final Fantasy 6 Reviews. You ever wonder why this kind of stuff is happening? Of course you probably haven't, because the answer has been talked about by everyone from controversial YouTubers to nobodies on the most obscure Social Media platform; YouTube has changed, and that change is bad for all artists and creators, not just online ones.

Obviously, we know why the YouTube algorithm is bad for online creators, it rewards monotony and content theft while punishing original work and obscure topics. I'm sure all those rappers who react to ERB and Freshy Kanal make great music, but the majority of people only watch their react videos, no judgement. If you're a media reviewer then the algorithm will punish you if you decide to talk about an obscure property that you hold absolutely dear to your heart. It makes sense why people make those videos that will do well, YouTube is a business and a job for many people, they have to talk about what will get them a lot of views. The problem with this is that it encourages content farms, YouTube channels that make three or more videos a day or have a dozen or so other channels that do pretty much the same thing, think 5-Minute Crafts or WatchMojo. These channels are able to pump out content because they take less effort and have bigger teams than Joe-Schmoe-Body-o'No with only 1000 subscribers.

However, I also want to stress that this algorithm is not just bad for the YouTube creators, it's just as bad, arguably even more, for other creators; filmmakers, game developers, musicians, animators, comic creators, the works. I realize that this does not seem like something worth complaining about, after all film studios spend thousands, upwards of millions on advertising, as do game studios. Plus, it isn't like the music industry is suffering from a garbage algorithm withholding their paychecks, Disney isn't losing money over YouTube deciding not to push their latest upload. Yes, the studios aren't going to suffer because of YouTube's algorithm, because the studios aren't people, they are corporations that don't have the capacity of suffering. No, the real people who will suffer are the artists who make the content for the corporations to hoard money from, especially indie creators.

Let me create a hypothetical; say you're a game developer, and you're spending months on this passion project video game. You don't have any money to afford a team so you create everything by hand, the sprites, the music, the coding, everything. It's heavily inspired by the games you loved growing up and know there are still demand for even though they really don't make them anymore, and you put a lot of attention to detail into this game, what elements to take from your favourite games, and which ones to leave behind. After years of work, you finally release your game to an astounding zero fanfare. Nobody talks about your game, very few people actually buy your game, and by the time it gains traction as a cult hit, the algorithm will have moved on to something completely different.

I've learned about so many weird movies thanks to online reviewers, Movies like Freaked, Raggedy Ann & Andy: A Musical Adventure, Ralph Bakshi's Lord of the Rings, and The Room. Games like Klonoa, Harvest Moon: Animal Parade, Remington Super Slam Hunting: Africa, The Stanley Parable,  Thief Simulator, and of course I can't forget the mention Stardew Valley. Other things like The Legend of Calmity Jane and Sherlock Holmes in the 22nd Century, the Legend of Zelda Manga, all of these things were stuff that was introduced to me via online reviewers and content creators. For a lot of people, the internet is where one learns about media that interests them, everyone from reviewers to comedians to countdown artists, all of these lesser known, up and coming, or cult classic pieces of media that ultimately would have just been forgotten and now have been given a second life. Now it's all replaced with brand sponsorship deals and the popular seeking out the popular.

The internet used to be a fantastic place to learn about this movie that had zero staying power but was completely up your alley, because that is the kind of place YouTube used to be. A lot of this does have to fall on the shoulders of how YouTube is used nowadays, we don't really subscribe to personalities or characters, we subscribe to content, so who cares that this critic is talking about a pilot to an internet animated series that is full of promise? They aren't talking about The Amazing Digital Circus. Recently, some BlueSky users have been criticizing Saberspark for seeing the Snow White remake in theatres while the new Looney Tunes movie, The Day The Earth Blew Up, was hardly mentioned by him. However, to play devil's advocate a little bit, what do you think will get more views? The highly talked about, controversial and rage-baiting Disney movie, or the Looney Tunes movie that has stakes only certain people seem to care about. I'm sure Saberspark would have much preferred to watch and talk about The Day The Earth Blew Up, but between the two movies, one is very clearly the one more people will view. This is not speculation either, I can back this up, Doug Walker made a video about both movies, and in six days the video about The Day The Earth Blew Up got 39K views, while in half that time the video on Snow White got 138K views. (As of writing on March 24, 2025)

I can kind of see why it's becoming more popular for studios and companies to just completely remove stuff from streaming because it's not getting the views, because why spend money on something that is not going to be popular? YouTube is the same thing, why push this video that isn't getting any views when this video could get us more ad revenue? This is why it was surprising to many that Disney extended Elemental's theatrical run, and that move paid off because Elemental was a sleeper hit. However, Disney can pull that off because they're a multi-billion dollar company that can take a hit like that. Imagine if the company behind Flow did that, they'd be bankrupt before making a second movie. Funny enough, I can only find videos talking about Flow after it won the Golden Globe, which says to me that the movie would have been relegated to cult status if it wasn't an award show darling.

My ultimate point here is that, because YouTube's algorithm does not encourage branching out and discussing lesser known properties, a lot of creators are going to suffer. Indie creators depend largely on word of mouth and if that is unable to spread then that project ends up unfinished or completely rushed to finish it. We need YouTubers to talk about lesser known media, up and coming projects that show promise and cult classics that deserve re-evaluation, and the great thing is that the power to change this is in our hands. Encourage your favourite media reviewers to talk about obscure things, and actively watch those videos when they come out, don't just stick them in your watch later bin and forget about them. Be aware of content farms and never be afraid to re-watch a video you've seen before. It's also important to share and talk about things you're into, not just online but in person too, which is why video stores and comic shops are great places to check out. YouTube's push for popular content is bad for everyone, so let's do something about it.

Shrek 5 Looks Different, and that is okay... for now.

Once again, Shrek has got his big green ogre fingers choke-holding the attention of the internet, though this time it is for less positive, but still highly meme-able reasons. The announcement of the fifth movie in the Shrek series has come with a new artstyle and to say that fans are not happy is an understatement. The change in artstyle has sparked outcry with people even calling for fans to do the "Ugly Sonic Treatment" to try and get DreamWorks to change the artstyle back to the original. Despite the fact that people have absolutely learned the wrong lesson from Sonic, one must wonder why such a decision has caused such a reaction.

So, what does this new artstyle look like and why is it a noticeable departure? DreamWorks was releasing 3D animated movies in a time where Disney was still pretty dedicated to more traditional 2D animated films, though Pixar was definitely marking a shift for the company as their features were becoming more successful and popular than Disney's 2D features. Pixar's animation style has always been Disney adjacent, bright colours and very clean, DreamWorks on the other hand had a much darker and grungier style in their 3D features, right from the very beginning. Pixar gave their ants bright blue colours, while DreamWorks gave them more realistic reddish-browns, but the ultimate example of the difference between the two companies is, as you have probably guessed, Shrek.

Shrek was a fairy-tale movie that did not look like anything Disney was putting out. While the movie could be quite colourful, it wasn't the bright shiny colours of Pixar, and it was the usual kind of grungy and gross that DreamWorks was more known for. This style aided the writing of the movie, which was a satire on Disney's classic princess films and the Disney renaissance. However, things have been slowly changing over the years. While Disney and Pixar still do their bright and colourful films, there is a noticeable shift in styles. You'll notice that they aren't afraid to use more muted or mundane colours, or even darker colours. Onward was a fantasy movie set in a modern human-esque world, and the colour palette reflected that. Lightyear was entirely set on a grey-brown alien planet, Raya and the Last Dragon had moments in dull dry deserts. While Disney and Pixar can and do still make movies like Elemental or Wish, movies with a more colourful palette and artstyle, it's clear that they are branching out into something much different.

I think this is where the change in artstyle comes from, now that Disney is making the more realistic looking 3D movies, what is the movie franchise that satirized Disney going to do? It reminds me a lot of the Sega-Nintendo rivalry in the 90s where the Genesis was the hot new console with a 16-Bit processor and its slogan was "Genesis Does What Nintendon't", highlighting the difference between the Genesis and the 8-Bit Nintendo Entertainment System, with the Genesis releasing in America two years before the Super Nintendo did. When the Super Nintendo did come out, something had to change, Nintendo had their own 16-Bit console, just like how Disney has their own realistic 3D animation style, so Shrek is being given a more cartoony style, and not many people like it.

Personally, I do have to wonder why the change in artstyle now, especially when the previous movie in the Shrek franchise, Puss in Boots: The Last Wish, looked amazing with the more standard artstyle, even though it did noticeably take influence from other stylized animated films like Spider-Verse. It definitely feels like a rash decision made for attention rather than anything else. Of course the change in style is not completely without merit, but there was no warm-up to this change so it felt absolutely jarring. Of course, this would be fine if something improved, and the big problem is that, for the most part, it looks the same. It does not appear to be any kind of big leap forward in artstyle or technological evolution, it looks like a DreamWorks movie, just more cartoony. If there was a noticeable improvement in artstyle or technology, I don't think fans would be as upset with the change in artstyle, but as far as we can tell, it isn't.

I'm not going to sit here and say this artstyle change is bad or even unnecessary, but I can see why people think it is. There was no build-up to this change, the previous Puss in Boots movie looked phenomenal, there does not appear to be any improvement that coincides with the change, and it does feel like DreamWorks is trying to differentiate itself from Disney and Pixar without much thought. Personally, I am interested in seeing what this new artstyle brings, but I will be honest when I say that they are going to have to prove that this change was necessary. I don't think it looks bad at all, but if they can't justify this change in artstyle, than whether it looks good or not in irrelevant. DreamWorks, this is your chance to step up and prove us wrong, unlike what happened with Ruby Gillman.

Analyzing The Simpsons: Is Bart Simpson Actually "Cool"?

We all know who The Simpson family members are as characters. Homer is the dimwitted but ultimately loving father, Marge is the caring but no-nonsense housewife, Lisa is the smart and principled daughter, Maggie is the surprisingly competent baby, and Bart is the cool, trouble-making son. However, is that actually true? I stand by most of what I say about Homer Simpson, I think that beneath his callousness, he is still a good person who cares deeply about his family, and I would love to make a whole analysis on as to why I believe that. However, there has been someone else in the Simpson family that absolutely mystifies me, someone who has such an established persona that I'm no entirely sure is accurate to who the character is. It's time I ask this question in earnest, let's take a page out of Super Eyepatch Wolf and TheRealJims and talk Simpsons; Is Bart Simpson inherently a cool kid?

Now, to begin with, it will be important to define the word "Cool". What is "Cool"? There are a lot of definitions for the word "Cool" which range to unfriendliness, calmness and the temperature. The "cool" definition we're going for is the aesthetic one. Described as "Being compatible with admirable social norms of society or a group of people" by the Oxford English Dictionary, or at least, by Wikipedia sourcing the Oxford English Dictionary. This definition is going to be the big point of contention for this argument, because the perception of what is "Cool" varies from not only group to group, but also person to person. So, it will be good to analyze the kind of culture that Bart Simpson wants to fit in.

First and foremost, Bart Simpson is a rebel, he is someone who likes to act different from the crowd. This is showcased especially in "Bart's Inner Child", where he finds that once everyone starts acting like he does, he is not as fond of it as he thought. This is because, at his core, Bart Simpson wants to stand out, he wants to be noticed. In "Summer of 4 Ft. 2", when Bart sees Lisa trying to make new friends, he does a whole routine to get their attention, even sabotaging Lisa out of jealousy. It's very much in Bart's character that when attention is taken away from him, he doesn't always handle it well. This is why Bart constantly has to pull bigger and more destructive pranks, because the old cherry bomb in the toilet would get old, so to keep the attention on him, he has to do more outrageous things.

On my Tumblr, I put up a poll where I asked this question. Tumblr can be a fantastic place for communities and fandoms, but it is also a total hellhole of a website, plus the poll only got nineteen votes anyway so take it with a grain of salt. On the poll, I gave three options, "Absolutely" Bart is inherently cool, "Well... Kinda" Bart isn't cool, but has his moments, and "No, he's a dork", which should be self-explanatory. Out of the nineteen votes, the majority of voters, 47.4% of them, said "Well... Kinda", falling into the middle where Bart does have his moments of being cool, but overall isn't really a cool kid. 36.8% of voters thought that Bart is inherently cool, while a minority, 15.8% of voters, voted that Bart isn't cool, and he's a dork. To be absolutely clear, I don't vote in my own polls, largely because I want the results to surprise me, and I can't really say I'm surprised by these results. Even if I had one hundred votes, or even a thousand votes, I expect the results would be rather similar, with most people taking the middle ground, but a larger majority saying that Bart is cool. The irritating part of it is that I specifically put "(Explain)" in the options because I wanted to hear people's opinions, and there were only two comments that gave one sentence explanations, and I'm pretty sure one is a role-play blog.

So it's clear that a majority of people do, on some level, think that Bart is a cool kid, and I can see why. Remember, The Simpsons was a big part of the pop culture of the 1990s, so Bart encapsulated a lot of the clichés and stereotypes of disenfranchised youths. Bart was not afraid to disrespect authority, be it his principal, his father, or whoever he sets his mind on. However, I don't think that inherently makes anyone "Cool", being a rebel is not just how you respond to something, but how you stand for something. Bart will pull pranks, do graffiti, put cherry bombs in toilets, but when push comes to shove, he still goes to Church with his family, even though he openly dislikes it and thinks it's rubbish. What I'm saying is, I don't think Bart is actually cool at all, he very clearly does what he does for attention, not for any other reason. He may take a stand for something, sometimes, but more often than not, he's doing something solely for the attention he receives from it.

This may have changed in later seasons, I'm not exactly TheRealJims or The Simpsons Theory over here, but my view of the character is that, he only causes trouble because it gets him attention that he craves. Bart is very much the kind of person who would openly mock a pop-star one minute, and then become their biggest fan the minute they become cool to like. Bart may be a rebel, but he still follows a crowd because that is where the most eyes will be on him, and I don't think that is particularly cool. I think being "cool" is a lot about being true to yourself, but also standing for principles, and being willing to stick to those despite how much others try to beat you back into conformity. When people are mocking you for being Vegetarian, or are trying to force you back into Christianity when you left, and you stand by your principles to defy them, that is what I think is genuinely cool. What I'm saying is, I think Lisa is actually cooler than Bart is.

It's kind of ironic in a sense, Bart, the bad boy rebel who skateboards and disrespects authority is the uncool kid, while Lisa, the over achieving nerd who has few regular friends and spends most of her time alone is the actual cool one. However, that is only ironic on a superficial level, if it's ironic at all, look the word "Irony" is thrown around so much in analysis that it's kind of lost any meaning. Regardless, the point I'm making here is that Bart is really only cool on a surface level.

I think that saying Bart is a "Dork" is a bit much, like I wouldn't put him in the same league as Milhouse. That being said, Bart comes off as someone who is very conscious about his image, so he'll only try something new if others encourage it. Bart is someone who could very easily slip into that "loser" role, become someone who is washed up and desperate for attention. If we were to use an analogy, I see Bart as a YouTube channel that has millions of subscribers, but the content is just kind of bland and same-y, while Lisa is a more specialized niche channel that has large gaps between uploads, but the content is engaging and gets genuine engagement. In other words, Bart is a MrBeast while Lisa is a DefunctLand.

In some respects, I don't think this revelation is really that shocking, there are lots of moments where we get a glimpse behind the curtain of Bart. I think even the writers kind of pegged Bart as a follower in a rebel's jacket from the start, as seen in "The Telltale Head", where Bart almost proudly shows that he cut the head off the Jebediah Springfield Statue, until the bully trio start saying they're going to beat up the person that did it. It makes sense that Bart does things that he thinks will get him the most attention. Really, the idea that Bart is not as cool as he thinks he is, probably isn't that new of a concept, I mean his best friend is Milhouse of all people, the ultimate follower. It kind of says something when hanging out with Martin is an upgrade. I wouldn't go so far as to call Bart a "Poser", mostly because that word is like "Irony" in that it's been thrown around so much it's lost all meaning, but also because I do think Bart does genuinely enjoy the things he does, but it seems like that is more of a perk to doing them than anything else.

Bart Simpson is not a cool kid, that is the main argument I'm making, that is the opinion I am expressing. However, I think the main takeaway here is, Bart isn't uncool because of the things he does, he's uncool because he does things for essentially the wrong reasons. It kind of reminds me of when influencers or celebrities make a statement, there is a difference between Conrad Veidt mandating in his contracts that any Nazi he portrays has to be a villain, and Madonna making the "American Life" album, one is an actor making a demand that others have to follow because of something he believes in, the other is a musician who is making claims and statements to drum up attention and controversy to keep the spotlight on them for just a little bit longer. Bart Simpson is an attention seeking kid who does things predominately for the kind of attention he would get from it, and I don't think that makes him cool. Still, he's cooler than Milhouse, so that's got to be worth something, right?

Hey, It's Almost Time for the Annie Awards!

Alright, by now you should know the drill, the Annie Awards are announced, I'm going to give my opinion on them, I'm gonna be wrong come awards night, nobody will actually care. To be fair, I do love sharing my predictions because I just have that gambling urge, and since I'm not putting any money on these predictions, I never technically lose. In all seriousness, this is my third year giving Annie Award predictions, and I enjoy doing this because, really for the same reason people enjoy making predictions about the Oscars or the Grammys or the Emmys or what-not, because we do genuinely love a lot of the things that are being nominated, and we have a deep love for cinema or music or animation, so we want to share that love in the ways we know and enjoy; through competition.

If you're new, my format for this is pretty easy to grasp, I introduce each category and give my thoughts on the nominees, which one I think will win, which one I'd like to see win, and which one I think is the least likely to get the award. I only cover the categories for features because, first off those are the ones I actually have opinions on, and secondly, if I did the other categories this blog would be a slog to read through. Of course, I also want to stress that I don't honestly care all that much, I've said it before and I'll say it again, awards don't typically mean that much. Last year, Across the Spider-Verse practically swept the ceremony, but Nimona is still the better movie, fight me. With that said, let's get to the good stuff.

BEST FEATURE

All in all, a fairly strong selection of nominees this year. I think the only nominee that I don't see winning is That Christmas, which to be fair I haven't seen. I also haven't seen Inside Out 2, but I think it has a decently strong case to walk away with this award, it has a better case than Kung Fu Panda 4 does anyway. I liked Kung Fu Panda 4, but let's be real, it's only winning this award as a fluke, especially compared to The Wild Robot. If I had to put money on any one movie winning this award, it would be The Wild Robot. Ultraman: Rising is also a decently strong one, but I just thought the movie was okay at best. If I had to really give them a ranking, Inside Out 2 would be in third place for most likely to win this award, Kung Fu Panda 4 would be fifth, That Christmas would be sixth, The Wild Robot would be first, Ultraman: Rising would be fourth, and that leaves second place to Wallace & Gromit: Vengeance Most Fowl. It wouldn't be unprecedented, Curse of the Were-Rabbit won in 2005, it also won the Best Animated Feature Film at the 78th Academy Awards, won nine other Annie Awards, won the Best British Film award at the British Academy Film Awards, like it just won a whole lot of awards, like Wallace & Gromit absolutely collect at award shows, A Grand Day Out and A Matter of Loaf and Death were the only Wallace & Gromit short films to not win the Best Animated Short Film Oscar, and A Grand Day Out was still beaten by a different Nick Park short film. I'm just saying, The Wild Robot is the safe bet, Wallace & Gromit is the easy next pick.

 BEST FEATURE - INDEPENDENT

So, as usual I didn't actually see a whole lot of these movies. I saw Flow, and that was it. To be fair, it won the Golden Globe for Best Animated Feature Film, and it won a whole bunch of other awards, so I think it's a fairly safe bet that Flow will win. If I had to pick my next pick, I've heard good things about Memoirs of a Snail, so I think I'll go with that. I haven't seen, or even really heard of, the other nominees, but I'm sure they're all worthy of the award.

BEST FX - FEATURE

Let's see, Kung Fu Panda 4? Not likely to win this award. Moana 2, even less likely. Frankly, I think the Annie Awards are just giving lip service to Disney sometimes. The Wild Robot is very much likely to take home this award, and I can also see Ultraman: Rising walking away with it. Though, I'm actually going out on a limb and going to say that the safe bet is Wallace & Gromit: Vengeance Most Fowl. Again, Wallace & Gromit just collect awards, but also when it comes to visual effects, Aardman usually gets a lot of good praise, so I'm going to pick Wallace & Gromit as my safe bet for this category.

BEST CHARACTER ANIMATION - FEATURE

Again, I think Wallace & Gromit has a good chance with this one, again it's because of Aardman. However, I think I'm gonna give the safe bet to The Wild Robot, but frankly I thin it could go to either movie really. I'm kind of impressed Kung Fu Panda 4 is getting a lot of nominations too, it just feels like pitting The Great Khali against The Big Show, like you know which is the better movie of the two immediately. Actually, I think a more apt comparison would be Giant Gonzalez against The Big Show, but that's getting into wrestling history and you're not here for that. Also, Inside Out 2 and Moana 2 are also nominated, I'll give Inside Out 2 third place again.

BEST CHARACTER ANIMATION - LIVE ACTION

Every year I talk about this one for a throw-away that I'm only kind of half-serious about. Still would have loved to live in a universe where I can factually say "Annie Award winning movie Cocaine Bear", but I digress. I think I'll give the safe bet to Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes.

BEST CHARACTER DESIGN - FEATURE

For once, Inside Out 2 is no longer the third most likely to win this award, it has graduated all the way up to second most likely to win this award. Yeah, I don't imagine that many movies are going to win against The Wild Robot, but to be fair, I don't think there really is a "Safe Bet" so to speak for this category, not because all the movies in this category are worthy of the award, but because this one really is down to a matter of taste. That Christmas is also nominated, shame I didn't check that one out. There is also Spellbound which... I can kind of see it walking away with this award, but it doesn't look like anything special. Finally, there is a movie called "Scarygirl" that is nominated and it looks... Well, this is for character design so maybe.

BEST DIRECTION - FEATURE

Chicken for Linda! is our first nominee and... yeah I haven't even heard of this movie, it won a couple of awards, only losing on three nominations, so that's impressive. I'll have to add this movie to my... growing list of movies to check out. Flow is also nominated, and I can see this one taking home the award, the direction of this movie was really good. That Christmas gets another nomination, was it really that good? Of course, I think The Wild Robot is going to be the safe bet, that and Wallace & Gromit as well. I'm not saying it's unlikely that Flow or even Chicken for Linda will get this award, but Chris Sanders and Nick Park are established names in the industry so it's going to be pretty big if they both lose to an Indie film, and frankly it would be kind of amazing.

BEST MUSIC - FEATURE

Hmm, I haven't seen that awful Lord of the Rings movie show up here yet, not complaining, just thought it was worth noting. There's always that one movie you think is going to get some nominations but is almost completely ignored (cough Wish cough). Anyway, we have another movie I haven't heard of here, Kensuke's Kingdom. Piece By Piece also gets its first nominee here, and... I dunno, this one kind of feels like cheating. That Christmas gets another nominee, there is also always that one movie that just gets a lot of nominations. Again, I think the safe pick is The Wild Robot, followed by Wallace & Gromit. I think this is the most thought I've ever put into this category so far.

BEST PRODUCTION DESIGN - FEATURE

Umm... Call me crazy, but I don't think there is really one "Safe Bet" here, I mean sure The Wild Robot is obvious, but it shares the bench with Inside Out 2, Ultraman: Rising and Wallace & Gromit, I think the only safe bet is that That Christmas won't be taking home the award.

BEST STORYBOARDING - FEAUTRE

Holy wow, Despicable Me 4 has a nominee? As does Saving Bikini Bottom? They must have really been desperate to fill this one. It says something when I genuinely think the safest bet here is That Christmas, because Moana 2 and Spellbound do not come off as Annie award winners to me, but I haven't seen either of them so what would I know? I just know that this award might be the least interesting to many viewers.

BEST VOICE ACTING - FEATURE

Mélinée Leclerc gets a nomination for her performance in Chicken for Linda, Maya Hawke gets a nod for Anxiety in Inside Out 2, The Wild Robot has two nominees this year, Lupita Nyong'o as Roz and Kit Connor as Brightbill, and Brian Tyree Henry has a nod for Megatron in Transformers One. Is this really the first nomination Transformers One has? Fascinating. Anyway, I think The Wild Robot is the safe bet again, but Inside Out 2 might be the next pick for me.

BEST WRITING - FEATURE

Wow, Flow got nominated for the category? That is hilarious, wouldn't it be absolutely funny is the movie with no dialogue got this award? And yes, I know that writing doesn't just mean dialogue, but it's heavily associated with dialogue at the very least. Other nominees include Inside Out 2, Kensuke's Kingdom and Memoirs of a Snail. I think I'll take a risk and suggest Memoirs of a Snail will win this award, but that is very much not the safe bet pick here.

BEST EDITORIAL - FEATURE

Oh this category, I never like predicting for this category. Let's see, we have Inside Out 2, Moana 2, The Wild Robot, Ultraman: Rising and Wallace & Gromit: Vengeance Most Fowl. Umm... The Wild Robot, maybe Wallace & Gromit, I don't want to come off as a fanboy championing a movie that has little chance, but like... Ultraman wasn't that good and I didn't watch Inside Out 2, and I have zero interest in anything Moana related, so I wouldn't have any opinions on that.

I think because 2024 was just kind of a "meh" year for animated cinema, the awards do kind of have to nominate the same handful of movies for each category this year. Like, I don't think Kung Fu Panda 4 was bad, but I don't think it will walk away with any awards this ceremony. Same with things like Ultraman, Moana 2, and seriously, how the Hell did Saving Bikini Bottom and Despicable Me 4 get a nomination? How did Transformers One only get one nomination? Okay, to be fair, Transformers One isn't exactly the kind of movie that award ceremonies would be lauding, but still, it could get thrown a bone for Storyboarding? The second worst SpongeBob movie and the most mediocre Illumination movie were more worthy of that award than Transformers One? Anyway, I don't expect The Wild Robot to be a total sweeper like Across the Spider-Verse was, but at the same time, I would not be surprised if it was.