The hardest kind of movie to talk about is one that is neither amazing nor terrible. These labels go beyond "Good" or "Bad", because what do those even mean? You can't really talk about a movie that is just "Good" or "Bad" for hours. DC League of Super-Pets is the kind of movie that is just, "Bad". Is it terrible? No, it really isn't. Terrible is a movie that actively hurts to watch, a movie that is a transparent marketing scam, a movie that feels like an insult. DC League of Super-Pets is none of those things, it is, like so many other "Bad" movies nowadays, mediocre and boring. This is another movie that is little more than a safe bet, not too outside of the box, but not so in the box it could be about literally anything else. Yet, is it wrong to say I want this movie to succeed?
No, this isn't a movie I like and lots of others don't, this is a movie that is genuinely pretty bad. It's a comedy that isn't very funny, it's a superhero movie that isn't very exciting, it is not a comedic farce that is poking fun at superhero movies, it's just an animated superhero movie for kids. Watching so many movies for this job, really has me realize just how safe and formulaic these movies have become. However, I will admit this one isn't as formulaic as something like Paws of Fury or Minions 2, but I still don't think anyone is going to be really surprised at any of the twists or turns this movie takes.
A bunch of pets get superpowers, there is a tortoise among them, yeah they say turtle, but they look more like a tortoise to me. Guess what superpower is given to the slow animal, I swear it's become a trope that the character that is associated with speed gets a slow animal as a pet or sidekick, Rainbow Dash got a tortoise, The Flash gets a tortoise, Sonic held a turtle in the 2020 movie, of course people familiar with comics will probably know of Ace the Bat-hound, I am a bit disappointed they didn't even make a joke about Bat-Cow, no seriously that is a thing, but otherwise, I don't think anyone will really be shocked by the turns this movie takes. I am sick of talking about these kinds of movies, what can I really say outside of "This movie is mediocre and boring"? Well, remember when I said I want this movie to succeed?
No, I am not joking, I do genuinely want this movie to do well. It is not a good movie, I feel like it would have been better as a farce or something that just mocked superhero movies endlessly. However, the fact that they did make this a genuine superhero movie is a little bit respectable, I do have to applaud them for taking what to some non-comic fans would sound like a silly concept and did actually take it decently seriously. If this does well, maybe we could get more comic book movies that studios wouldn't normally take a risk on because they sound too silly, like say a proper Uncle Scrooge movie not tied into DuckTales, or a Batman movie with the Condiment King, or a Squirrel Girl movie, still waiting for that one.
This is a tough movie for me to talk about because, it's not good, but it's not awful either. It's another animated kids movie that is absolutely nothing special. Honestly, I'm getting nostalgic for Netflix Original movies now, Animal Crackers and Duck Duck Goose were bad, but they were an interesting kind of bad, a bad that sticks in your head. Where Duck Duck Goose is a stain on a nice pristine white carpet, DC league of Super-Pets is just some dust that got on the carpet. Sure, it's not good, but it's easy to clean up and you forget about it just in time for the next bunch of dust to get on your carpet, a stain needs a lot more work put into cleaning it, and you will remember it. That being said, this is like, dust mixed with sand, you almost don't want to clean it up because it could bring in something much more interesting, maybe something festering and gross, or maybe something that is genuinely pleasant to keep around. I don't want to say I recommend this movie, I am absolutely sick of these "Nothing Special" movies, and the chances are that if this does well, studios won't take it as a sign to give us a proper Squirrel Girl movie, they'll just take it as a sign to give us Captain Waterflame, Iron Man's amazing cybernetic goldfish. Actually that sounds like it would make for a more interesting movie. Do I recommend it? No, but like, I kinda do, this could bring us one step closer to having the really silly comic book movies. Time will tell I guess, but if you have kids who want to see it, or you're mildly curious yourself, it's harmless.
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