It's always incredible when you can tell how blatantly transparent a movie is about it's own existence directly from the trailers. From the trailers of UglyDolls, not only did I guess this movie was going to suck, but that this movie was going to be a soulless marketing ploy to sell awful pop music and merchandise. Now, of course expecting a movie to suck and actually wanting it to suck are different things, I would never want a movie to fail without seeing it first. After seeing UglyDolls however, I want it to flop, I want it to flop hard.
I could guess that this was going to be a soulless sell when I saw the cast. Kelly Clarkson? Janelle Monae? Pitbull? I recognize these names, yes, but I have literally not heard of them in years. I mean, the last thing I remember Pitbull from was that time he used the music from A-ha in one of his songs. Anything to keep them relevant I guess. I don't want to sound too harsh on them, they may have had other, better reasons to say yes to this movie, but when I see this cast, and here these songs, all I think is, "Are we relevant again?".
The story is very paint-by-numbers. In many respects, it's like Wonder Park. A paint-by-numbers story that tries to get by on the spectacle of it all. You might also remember another movie like this called The Greatest Showman. Now, I personally love The Greatest Showman, and my first impressions of Wonder Park were much more forgiving than others, especially compared to CellSpex. However, what made The Greatest Showman work was that it was a spectacle. The choreography and music of the movie made it worth seeing. Wonder Park also had the spectacle going for it, being creative enough to spark a child's imagination. UglyDolls has none of that, it has some visually appealing musical scenes, but they don't wow me like The Greatest Showman's does. This movie really is a less impressive Wonder Park.
I guess the message is fine, that our flaws make us who we are. Never will I ever tell someone their flaws are ugly. Hi there, I'm the Entity of Darkness and I wear glasses, have unkempt and tangled hair and am on the autism spectrum, nice to meet you, I'm the last person to say this is a bad message. However, The Greatest Showman did this better, with one song. It wasn't about the world loving you, it was about being able to love yourself, "I am brave, I am bruised, I am who I'm meant to be", it really is tough to recommend this movie when we have a similar movie that does the job much better. Here, the characters already love themselves and try to make the world love them in return. Yes, there is the moment they all hate themselves, but it's pretty much resolved off-screen and the resolution we do see, only happens with one character. It's a shame that The Greatest Showman did this better because The Greatest Showman wasn't even about the circus troupe.
Really, what else is there to say? The songs are bland pop songs, the animation is good but nothing impressive, Hell I even called the villain's twist from the trailers. Really, I guessed that the villain had a secret from the trailers, granted my guess was not accurate, but that is still a mark against this movie. Really, this movie is just a marketing vehicle to make a lousy pop song about embracing who you are popular, and sell some toys on the side. This movie did not need to be made, it does not need to exist. Funny how that's a plot point in the movie, that the titular Ugly Dolls shouldn't exist. Yet, this movie offers nothing that a child can't cobble together with a Spotify playlist, some quick crafts and a camera. It may not be as colourful, but at least the lack of quality could actually be excused.
Maybe I'm being too harsh on this movie, there are worse movies in the world. I mean, in the same year we have Norm of the North 2, it's got some stiff competition. However, there is nothing I can recommend this movie on, and I gave Wonder Park a recommended rating. I'd rather see any other movie get successful than this one. Go see Avengers instead, I haven't seen it myself, and I don't plan to, but I can guarantee you it is a better movie. If you've already seen it, see it again, let this movie flop.
No comments:
Post a Comment