First Impressions: Animal Crackers (2020... ish)

Well, it's nice to finally see this movie, kinda sorta. Yeah, you saw that "ish" in the title, and that's because, well this movie was technically a 2017 release. The history of this movie is interesting, but I don't really know all the details myself. What I do know is that this movie was released in a film festival in 2017, and according to Wikipedia in 2018 it had a release in China, but it would become a Netflix Original this year. For sake of consistency and to make this easier on myself, I will refer to this as a 2020 release, I know that isn't technically accurate, but lots of movies get weird releases, like Norm of the North 2.

There are three things you never want your movie to be, boring, offensive and disappointing. A boring movie leaves you with nothing to talk about, an offensive movie will make viewers angry, and a disappointing movie, no matter how good it is, will never be as good as it could have been. Animal Crackers in none of those, it is another category all together, a "Film that could have been good."

I'm serious, there are good elements in this movie, the animation is wonderful, good colour palette, no obvious mistakes, some nice small details as well, I think the scene where I knew that the animation of this movie was going to be this movie's strong point was in the opening where our lead character is talking to his fiancé, you can tell by the acting and facial animation that he is not thrilled about this, in fact, the acting isn't that bad either. There are LOTS of recognizable voices in this movie, Patrick Warburton, Gilbert Gottfried, Wallace Shawn, Sir Ian McKellen, Danny DeVito, but a lot of the other cast members are not too bad. Emily Blunt is of course wonderful, I think she's slowly becoming my favourite actress, John Krasinski did a good job, Tara Strong was excellent, Hell, I could barely recognize Sylvester Stallone. My props goes out to the voice director and the actors of this movie, because they did not have the best material to work with.

Honestly, when I say that this film could have been good, I do mean it. The movie has some moments that are genuinely cute. Like when the lead proposes with a clown nose, like, that was adorable. Or when he turns into a bear to protect his daughter from monsters, like there are elements of a good movie here. I've said before that good emotional scenes are the bare minimum for any movie, I think ultimately, the movie I said that about, Next Gen, another Netflix Original, had so little to offer, that even the good scenes felt lesser. With this movie, I can see some bits of quality edging through the... quite honestly awful writing.

The writing kills this movie, and not even that this movie is unfunny, though yes it is very unfunny, but there is just so much wrong with the writing. Patrick Warburton's character (Who is named Brock, making this the second Brock with monstrous pecks he's voiced), is the cringiest character I've ever seen, and a lot of that is because... well... he's kind of an... uncomfortable character, always getting up close and whispering, I felt unclean watching his scenes. Also, this movie falls under the category of "Pseudo-musicals" where, they have song numbers, but it never reaches more than three, and the two song numbers in this movie are not really good, but, I've heard worse, trust me, it's hard to top the PlayMobil movie in how bad your movie can be.

The worst thing about the writing though is, there are a lot of plot holes. I don't know if I can remember them all, but here are a couple I can remember.

1. Why is Brock trying to sabotage our lead's project? This project could literally make the company millions, and he's trying to sabotage it? Why?
2. How many people at the circus knew about the crackers? They don't appear shocked when our lead turns into animals, so they obviously knew a little about them. Why didn't they see if the blue dog and cat with the choker were the people they held the funeral for? Or was this a Dumbledore plan in the end?
3. Who the Hell is our lead's parents? He refers to the circus owners, the people that could have been his parents, as uncle and aunt, and the only relative we are aware of for either of those two that could be his parent, makes no reference to being his father, so where are they?

Honestly, the rest of the movie isn't bad, it's just the unfunny humour and sloppy story that drag this movie down. I know this movie had a troubled history, but at least one more rewrite and this movie could have been good, at least a slight recommendation. As it is, I just... I can see a good movie in here, I can see the talent that went into this movie, but as a whole, I can recommend this very much, but on the bright side, they didn't make something as bad as PlayMobil the Movie.

The Emperor's New Groove (2000) - A film that is much better than you'd think

I'll be honest, I kinda left picking a movie for this month until the last minute, so my only reason for wanting to review this movie is because it is one of my favourite animated movies ever. In my list of favourite films in the Disney animated canon, this is up their with Robin Hood, and Treasure Planet, top six material including The Nightmare Before Christmas. However, I must ask, why do I love this film so much? It can't just be nostalgia, even though this is a movie I watched a lot as a kid, but their got to be something that holds up right? Well, let's find out.

On the eve of his birthday, Emperor Kuzco tells the leader of a local village, Pacha, that he will destroy his village in order to build himself a summer home, complete with waterslide! Meanwhile, his ex-advisor, an old woman named Yzma, and her henchman Kronk, devise a plot to kill him, but to save on postage go with a plan B that ends up turning the Emperor into a llama. After he gets taken from the palace and ends up with Pacha again, he tries to get help getting back to the palace, but Pacha wants him to build his summer home elsewhere. Meanwhile, Yzma and Kronk are searching for him, trying to kill him when they see him.

I'm gonna be honest, the plot kind of flies by in this movie. That isn't a bad thing, in many ways it's a good thing, as it shows how tightly woven and solid the plot is, allowing the plot to progress without filler. I think the only problem with a fast paced plot is that the movie feels shorter than it actually is. The movie is an hour and eighteen minutes, but it kind of feels like you're only sitting down for ten minutes. My dad says that's the sign of an amazing movie, so take that as you may. Personally, I do find the plot to be really solid and simple to follow, so I'll give it marks for that, even if it is a bit paint-by-numbers.

Character wise you're mostly focusing on four characters, Pacha and Kuzco, and Yzma and Kronk. Pacha is your standard kind hearted protagonist, but he does have a temper that shows when he's pushed too far. I especially like how they don't bother to hide this until the big fall out scene, they show this pretty early in the movie, it's interesting. Kuzco is the main character, and the one that goes through the big character arc. Personally, I tend to hate really arrogant brats like Kuzco, which is why, even though I love the show Archer, I do struggle to recommend it because of just how much of a prat Archer himself is. On the Arrogant Prat Meter, I'd put Kuzco in the lower-mid tier, he's not as bad as Archer or Brian Griffen, but he's not as good as say... Squidward. However, the characters that really steal the show are Yzma and Kronk. They are up their with Prince John and The Queen of Hearts as some of Disney's most entertaining bad guys. They work off each other pretty well, have lots of funny moments and are perfectly portrayed by Eartha Kitt and Patrick Warburton.

Speaking of humour, this movie is really funny. I don't think this is one of the cleverest comedies ever written, in fact a lot of the humour is pretty dumb, but there is some subtle humour too, like in the opening where Kuzco has a massive entry way carved into a wall, complete with engravings, patterns and gold. There is also some really interesting fourth wall breaks in this movie, I'd probably say two of most famous fourth wall breaks in any movie. I don't think it's a stretch to say this movie doesn't take itself seriously, it has it's serious moments, but even they need some silly pause or a character talking with the overhead narrator in them to lighten the mood. Even the Muppets know when to make it serious for a minute, but this is a very different movie to The Muppet Movie. I think this lack of a serious attitude benefits the film anyway, as there is a lot of modern speak in this movie. I've talked about this with Klaus, but the difference is that Klaus took itself seriously, the crew behind that movie wanted to make something fantastic, where the crew behind this film, it feels like they just wanted to make a silly movie that was entertaining, so I'll let the modern talk slide.

I think this movie's strongest point is the animation. Not that this movie is as beautiful as Treasure Planet, or as aesthetically please as The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh, but there is a lot of subtlety in the facial animations. You get subtle facial expressions that last less than a second, and you can read the characters thoughts just by looking at their face. One of my favourite characters is the waitress at that diner, you can tell by her face she knows there is a llama in the building, but just doesn't care. She doesn't get paid enough to deal with talking llamas. That being said though, that animation is still really good, there were not obvious animation errors, and the artstyle was clean, smooth and pleasant to look at. The movie has a lot of different shades of green, which make the jungles and fields look really lush, but the lighting also really fits the tone. When Kuzco is running for his life, the sky is a vicious red and the grounds are dark and shadowy. Disney has been making animation for around seventy-seven years by this point so if any studio would know how to do animation it would be Disney.

Overall, I would totally say that The Emperor's New Groove is one of my favourite animated movies. While it isn't groundbreaking, or even that special or noteworthy, it is very, very entertaining. The plot is solid, the characters are solid and the humour is excellent. In my top five Disney Animated Canon films, I'd put this one at number four, just below Treasure Planet, I much prefer that film for it's characters and visuals, but if you want a good laugh, you're going to find it with this movie. I'd put this film just shy of a High Recommendation, but it is still one of my favourites, if you passed this movie up, it might be worth checking out.

And no, I did not order a giant trampoline!